I Learn From My Mistakes And Then Move On
I, now, found myself with nothing more to say.
I walked through an entire day doing normal things I'd usually do. And then, when I entered my room to rest, I saw my old notebook where I'd write words of love I'd never send. When I saw the notebook, I felt this unusual feeling. There's this feeling of apathy running through my mind. Then, I thought, why do I feel apathetic? Later, I realized that I went through a day without thinking about him. I opened the notebook and I saw the letters that I wrote but was never able to send it to him. I tried writing a letter once more, but I found myself wordless. I can't find any more words to say.
After several poems, several letters, and several books, it looks like I've said everything. I never thought that a love I thought would last for a long time would come to fade away soon enough. Even typing this entry proves to be difficult. My worst fears have been realized. I lost everything that I gained when I first came to love him. Sure, I've lost a few when I came to love him, but the things I've gained outweighed the lost.
Now, it seems that losing that feeling left me empty. I feel that my body is no more than a hollow shell -- it may seem full on the outside, but on the inside, I'm empty. I feel nothing.
The only question that lies now is that... have I finally managed to move on?
I walked through an entire day doing normal things I'd usually do. And then, when I entered my room to rest, I saw my old notebook where I'd write words of love I'd never send. When I saw the notebook, I felt this unusual feeling. There's this feeling of apathy running through my mind. Then, I thought, why do I feel apathetic? Later, I realized that I went through a day without thinking about him. I opened the notebook and I saw the letters that I wrote but was never able to send it to him. I tried writing a letter once more, but I found myself wordless. I can't find any more words to say.
After several poems, several letters, and several books, it looks like I've said everything. I never thought that a love I thought would last for a long time would come to fade away soon enough. Even typing this entry proves to be difficult. My worst fears have been realized. I lost everything that I gained when I first came to love him. Sure, I've lost a few when I came to love him, but the things I've gained outweighed the lost.
Now, it seems that losing that feeling left me empty. I feel that my body is no more than a hollow shell -- it may seem full on the outside, but on the inside, I'm empty. I feel nothing.
The only question that lies now is that... have I finally managed to move on?
22-25, F