My self esteem is way too low...

It hurts when I see friends I've been chatting a lot with appear with a green dot on the homepage, only to be offline again a minute later. I've opened SW plenty of times out of habit when looking for something else and I know that could very well be why they popped up, but I can't help but think they logged in purposefully, saw I was online too and logged out to avoid me.

That feeling is even stronger when they read my message and leave without replying, while I also sometimes want to give a reply more thought. I just can't convince myself that to be the case when someone does it to me and instead immediately feel like they are no longer interested. Even if they do get back to me later 90% of the time, that doesn't stop me from jumping to that conclusion...

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

NerdyPotato ·

It even gets to the point where I ask myself if I should leave so they can enjoy the site instead of me, or whether I should block them so we can coexist freely. But then I'm afraid they'd be upset if I misjudged the situation and they did enjoy chatting. There is just no right way to deal with this...

candycane · 36-40, F

@NerdyPotato if i thought to do that ud just block you and be done

HootyTheNightOwl

@NerdyPotato Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing at all... if they want to talk to you, they know where you are... if not, there's usually others around who will talk to you.

NerdyPotato ·

@HootyTheNightOwl I partially agree. If both people are afraid to bother the other person and wait for their initiative, both may be wishing to talk yet waiting endlessly, leading to missed opportunities and bad feelings one both sides. That's good advice in some situations, but it depends on the people involved. And sadly the second part is quite rare. Not many people seem to open a chat, not matter how many say they would like to.

HootyTheNightOwl

@NerdyPotato I'm guilty of the first one - especially with my man... after 3 or 4 messages in a row, I tend to tail off and wait for him to message me back.

I think that a part of that is down to a former dom making me feel like a burden to him - and I can't quite break free from that now.

I generally get a few people stumble across my posts from time to time

LadyGrace ·

@NerdyPotato I think the right way to deal with it, would be to just realize that those who care about you or love you, will always be here for you, and as you know, it's just impossible to be here every minute somebody needs us, so in that case, I try not to overanalyze and take it with a grain of salt. There are times when I would love to be here, but I can't and it's nothing personal towards anyone. We can just have a good time and enjoy ourselves and our friends will always be here for us, unless they leave. Haha

candycane · 36-40, F

@LadyGrace and many are leaving

LadyGrace ·

@candycane Sadly, yes.