My self esteem is way too low...

It hurts when I see friends I've been chatting a lot with appear with a green dot on the homepage, only to be offline again a minute later. I've opened SW plenty of times out of habit when looking for something else and I know that could very well be why they popped up, but I can't help but think they logged in purposefully, saw I was online too and logged out to avoid me.

That feeling is even stronger when they read my message and leave without replying, while I also sometimes want to give a reply more thought. I just can't convince myself that to be the case when someone does it to me and instead immediately feel like they are no longer interested. Even if they do get back to me later 90% of the time, that doesn't stop me from jumping to that conclusion...

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

HootyTheNightOwl

Lol... even you have done that on me, though - sometimes, we can be chatting away and I come back from replying to you, only to see that you've gone to bed... 🤣🤣🤣

As for your friends going offline on you... they might have already been offline before you opened the site - maybe you came in after they left and before their light went out???

NerdyPotato ·

@HootyTheNightOwl usually I let the people I'm in a conversation with know personally or make a post about going to sleep though. But yes, it also happens that I fall asleep with my phone in my hand, occasionally even in the middle of writing a sentence.

The situations I was referring though were when I'm online well before them and they pop in very briefly without any interaction I can see.

HootyTheNightOwl

@NerdyPotato My man often leaves me on "Read" overnight, too... I had to work hard on accepting that it's not my fault when he does that - maybe he just got busy/distracted or too tired to talk more tonight, but he wanted to see how I was first. It doesn't bother me as much anymore because he usually picks up again in a few days at most... maybe sooner if he's missing me.

As for the rest of the site... that's why I developed two circles of friends - my inner circle of friends are those who tend not to ignore me and I feel able to go to them with just about anything and the rest I don't let myself worry about too much.

I learned that pretty early on in my time here, when my former Sire was telling them to shut up and at least listen to what I was trying to say first.

Now I don't mind as much about what others think of me after all the hours I spent watching how cruel this place could be in politics.

I also logic that maybe my friends are too busy in real life to talk to me just now and I hope that they might reply later in the day. If nothing else, it helps me to keep my stress levels down.