My life sucks

I myself tried to commit suicide my reason is that my family always has high Expectations of me they always want me to have good grade or bodyshame or compare me to other kids it really sucks but i tried to stay positive and happy but i lost control i tried to commit suicide and do self harm when my mom finds out she decided to call my whole family it was a mess everybody was crying telling me "we worked hard for u to live now this is how u pay us" that really triggers my stress alot and by the way i still get bodyshamed and always getting compare to other kids so it still sucks i wanna die already but i love my mother even though she also does the same as my family does i still love her so i only do self harm it doesn't hurt anymore it feels good and now i get therapy and take pills that doesn't work waste of money thats my life god bless you