I Used to Self Harm

I started at 10. I cut consistently until I was at least 22. I stopped for a while. But I've missed it. I'm almost 27. I started again. Just small, shallow cuts now. I guess it just makes me feel really stupid now. But not enough to make me want to stop. It's like a drug for me. And I know I'm too old to still be doing this. To still be struggling with this at all. But I am. And nothing satisfies like seeing myself bleed. I don't know. I probably deserve it anyway.