I Need Someone to Talk to

iv'e always found talking to people really hard!!im a loner,shy and quiet kind of person. about a year and a half ago i had a mini break down and decided to speak to my doctor about my issues including a gambling problem, and although i've had a lot of help now and i'm in a much better place than i was back then, iv'e been off the gambling now for about a year which is good,been to CBT which helped as well, i also joined the gym and attend a men's mental health group organised by my local football team every Monday night, and its great!! the only problem is my issues around relationships and so on!!i try getting myself out more and go lots more places than i used to, but still,its like i prefer being in the company of people but not actually getting close to anyone, whenever i sit at home on my own, i cant stand it any more. i mean, in these days where more and more people are choosing to stay at home,Netflix and chill and so on,i hate it,i mean, yes i have Netflix myself and i like it,but only in moderation!! all this leaves me so confused sometimes, cos it means that im a loner who apparently enjoys other peoples company, but at the same time i dont like being too sociable while at the same time, i dont like the idea of being alone!! how does that work? i mean im only trying to better myself on a personal level, and so far i have done good, but this final part of the jigsaw is so hard for me to understand, i just cant figure it all out!!