Is it wrong to want safety in someone?
I'm looking for honest answers. My exbf really screwed with my head. And I'm starting to wonder if I was wrong...
Maybe I wanted too much by wanting communication and whole truths.
He was okay with hurting me, letting me take the blame and he let me chase him when my feelings should have mattered too...
Should my feelings matter in a relationship?
Every time I wanted to work on something together, to get stronger, he was so blase about it. Like he just wanted it to work without doing the work. So that meant I had to do the work for us both or get blamed for the failure. I'm still exhausted and it's been months.
He let me cry. He let other people hurt my son and I.
He didn't fight for me at all while I fought him FOR him.
Is that how this is supposed to work?
Am I to constantly decipher a partners mood so I know if my needs are allowed or not?
It's all been swirling in my head for quite some time and I'm not looking for validation or for my situation to be judged, I just want to know...
Are my feelings and needs allowed?
Is a relationship constantly monitoring someone so I behave in a way that makes them happy?
These thoughts never aligned with me. They broke me down. But I just didn't see the point of being someone's everything when in return there was NO curiosity about me, NO consideration for how I was or what I was going through and I NEVER knew what version of him I would get.
Aren't I worth more than just being a warehouse of love and joy to take from? I think I am worth more, but looking back, I've always kinda been there for people who turned their back on me as soon as I wasn't doing things to their liking. As soon as I needed something.
I want to know what I'm allowed to expect from someone. Because feeling like I'm asking for the moon when I think I deserve the truth without asking may have corroded my ability to connect.
I can fix this. I have been through worse. My exbf just so deeply made me feel like I was every problem.
Maybe I wanted too much by wanting communication and whole truths.
He was okay with hurting me, letting me take the blame and he let me chase him when my feelings should have mattered too...
Should my feelings matter in a relationship?
Every time I wanted to work on something together, to get stronger, he was so blase about it. Like he just wanted it to work without doing the work. So that meant I had to do the work for us both or get blamed for the failure. I'm still exhausted and it's been months.
He let me cry. He let other people hurt my son and I.
He didn't fight for me at all while I fought him FOR him.
Is that how this is supposed to work?
Am I to constantly decipher a partners mood so I know if my needs are allowed or not?
It's all been swirling in my head for quite some time and I'm not looking for validation or for my situation to be judged, I just want to know...
Are my feelings and needs allowed?
Is a relationship constantly monitoring someone so I behave in a way that makes them happy?
These thoughts never aligned with me. They broke me down. But I just didn't see the point of being someone's everything when in return there was NO curiosity about me, NO consideration for how I was or what I was going through and I NEVER knew what version of him I would get.
Aren't I worth more than just being a warehouse of love and joy to take from? I think I am worth more, but looking back, I've always kinda been there for people who turned their back on me as soon as I wasn't doing things to their liking. As soon as I needed something.
I want to know what I'm allowed to expect from someone. Because feeling like I'm asking for the moon when I think I deserve the truth without asking may have corroded my ability to connect.
I can fix this. I have been through worse. My exbf just so deeply made me feel like I was every problem.
