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I Need Advice

I need advice. So sorry this is long, but please read and tell me what u think. So my mom died when I was 25. Her twin, my aunt is still alive. Her family of 7, lived with in 10 feet of my familys house. We were raised together. We were all like brothers and sisters to each other. I had 2 siblings, 1 which died at age 38, And my brother lives across the country. . When my sister became ill with kidney failure, my 2 female cousins came to the hospital once over the course of 5 years of being in and out of the hospital. 10 years after she passed, my dad became ill. For 6 months I was in the hospital, with my dad, more than I was at home. Everyday I went to see him or take him to various hospitals and nursing homes. And in 6 months 1 cousin out of 7 saw him at the hospital, and once my aunt and uncle visited at a nursing home (in which they stayed 15 minutes) . None of them offered to help , or even asked how he was doing. He died after a long battle.
Now a year later my aunt found she has lung cancer. So my problem is, is that I find myself not caring. I have no sympathy. My cousins come over and ask me how she's doing, and they r all so worried. Thats all I here them talk about. And since I still live next to her, she asks me to help her instead of her kids, 3 of which lives 10 minutes or less away. I dont feel like I should care . I have no sympathy or compassion for her or my cousins. None of them have ever cared about me or my family through the years. And to add to my bitterness, I have panic attacks and depression which they all knew, but none of them ever believed me. I feel bad, and I don't feel bad. What do u think?
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Casheyane · F
I wouldn't advise you to force yourself. But maybe, if you show them what family love is when they need it, they'll learn it from you. Maybe if you get to know them and give them a chance to get to know you, you might enjoy them. I know the chances are... well it depends really...but what I want to say is, don't close any doors. Leave even a window open. As much as we hate some of them, family is family. I'd know about putting distance between relatives. Some of my dad's relatives suck big time. But I'm currently giving chances to my younger cousins. I could be for them what my elder cousins couldn't be for me.
melissa001 · 51-55, F
@Casheyane if they don't know me after 50 years then screw them. And I do have other relatives I keep my distance from, but both our families lived next to each other and I consider them my brothers and sisters. At least I did.