A question about Fifty Shades of Grey
Did not see the movie. Tried to read and only got to page seven -- it was that bad. So all my knowledge of the movie is second hand. See my actual question in my comment below.
70-79, M
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BSTisapain
Has anyone actually READ it? AND understood any of it? :(
Seems to me the people who are most capable of understanding it are extremely hostile to it - I know a couple of people who've manage to plod through most of the books, and they're all really angry at the way the scene is portrayed. Someone on fetlife the other day said that the "dom" gets "cured" at the end - wtf? Dominance is NOT an illness! Neither is submissiveness!
But most people I know who've tried to read it gave up in disgust - and me? I wouldn't waste money on it, partly because it sounded like masturbation fodder, and partly because I heard rumours that it gives completely false information about BDSM. I didn't borrow it from the library - like I said, it's masturbation fodder! So although I AM interested in BDSM and D/s, I find it more sensible to find out about things from real live human beings who actually DO these things!
And now the film is out - and what did I do on the day it was released to an avid audience? I went to a BDSM event which was set up to stick two fingers up at Shades! And I indulged in a bit of real action, and saw lots of others do far more!
There was even some kind of blood-play at the end, but my play partner told me not to look, he knows I don't have the stomach for anything piercing the skin...
But it's all consensual, and that seems to be the main problem people have with shades - from what I hear, she never consents, and he pays no attention to her pleas (IF she bothers asking him to stop ...!) We have a safe word, he WILL stop as soon as I say RED, he only does anything to me because I've already consented to it!
You say that you believe the sub has all the power ... I disagree. I don't feel like I have any power, except the power to accept someone as my Dom, and to call a halt to anything if I don't want it - including the relationship. That said, without a sub, what is a Dom? Just a bloke with a penchant for porn and a collection of friends on EP who happen to have naked photos for him to look at! And without a Dom, what is a sub? This is a question that's close to my heart - and I've decided that without a Dom, a sub is nothing.
Seems to me the people who are most capable of understanding it are extremely hostile to it - I know a couple of people who've manage to plod through most of the books, and they're all really angry at the way the scene is portrayed. Someone on fetlife the other day said that the "dom" gets "cured" at the end - wtf? Dominance is NOT an illness! Neither is submissiveness!
But most people I know who've tried to read it gave up in disgust - and me? I wouldn't waste money on it, partly because it sounded like masturbation fodder, and partly because I heard rumours that it gives completely false information about BDSM. I didn't borrow it from the library - like I said, it's masturbation fodder! So although I AM interested in BDSM and D/s, I find it more sensible to find out about things from real live human beings who actually DO these things!
And now the film is out - and what did I do on the day it was released to an avid audience? I went to a BDSM event which was set up to stick two fingers up at Shades! And I indulged in a bit of real action, and saw lots of others do far more!
There was even some kind of blood-play at the end, but my play partner told me not to look, he knows I don't have the stomach for anything piercing the skin...
But it's all consensual, and that seems to be the main problem people have with shades - from what I hear, she never consents, and he pays no attention to her pleas (IF she bothers asking him to stop ...!) We have a safe word, he WILL stop as soon as I say RED, he only does anything to me because I've already consented to it!
You say that you believe the sub has all the power ... I disagree. I don't feel like I have any power, except the power to accept someone as my Dom, and to call a halt to anything if I don't want it - including the relationship. That said, without a sub, what is a Dom? Just a bloke with a penchant for porn and a collection of friends on EP who happen to have naked photos for him to look at! And without a Dom, what is a sub? This is a question that's close to my heart - and I've decided that without a Dom, a sub is nothing.