How to not badmouth your spouse?

I used to be better at it, but as time has ticked away, I find I am just too damn tired sometimes. I still manage to do a good job of it around my youngest, but my older two see the behavior and understand some of it. Not more than two months ago, my 12 year old said (after a fairly irrational blow up from my wife): "it's OK, Dad. We know you try to hide from us how unreasonable mom can be. It's not fair. I love you."

That was possibly one of the hardest things to hear and not completely lose it.

Now, back to your original question. I find that vodka solves almost any problem.

as your world begins to revolve around their needs to have a chance to grow up happy, well-adjusted, and confident, you'll instinctively start doing the right things for their sakes. can you honestly tell me your world, as of the time you posted this question, actually does revolve around theirs? if you say yes, then it should be fairly easy to control letting them hear your venom towards their dad(?).

I'm curious as to why you use the term "dysfunctional relationship" Did you marry before the children came, or was pregnancy, not love, the reason for the marriage? As far as not "badmouthing" your spouse in front of the kids, that's simple! I've taught my children to think before they speak! Once the words are out, they can't be taken back! Also, if you cared enough to lay down with your spouse, and create a child, then you should have enough respect for them to choose your words carefully!

Not in front of the kids. That's terrible.

Get out of a dysfunctional relationship. It's not good for you or the kids.
This does not mean to divorce necessarily. It means fix your marriage where there is mutual respect and everyone will be happy. If that is not possible then maybe re-evaluate your life and see what is best for everyone.

Keep in mind YOU chose him, and whatever happens with you, he's their only other parent.

Hmmm