Take Back Your Power from Abuse
Abuse is abuse—no matter how anyone tries to minimize it, excuse it, or redefine it. If you are the one suffering, it is not acceptable. There is no version of abuse that is “okay.”
So the real question becomes: how long will you allow it?
How long will you suffer so someone else can maintain control over you?
This is not love. This is not normal. And you did not cause it.
You are being controlled, manipulated, and wounded—and whether you realize it or not, you may have been conditioned to accept it. But hear this clearly: you do not have to continue living this way.
There comes a moment when truth has to rise above fear. A moment when you are honest with yourself about what is really happening. That moment is where your power begins.
Taking back your life requires action.
Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s complicated. Fear, lack of resources, emotional exhaustion—these are real barriers. But they do not change the truth: nothing will change until you do.
You don’t have to do everything at once. Start small. Set one boundary. Reach out for help. Learn something new. Take one step forward. Then another.
You may need support—and you should seek it. A trusted counselor can help you create a safe and strategic plan. But no one can do this for you. You have to want freedom. And you have to be ready to fight for it.
Your abuser has worked hard to convince you that you are weak… that you can’t make it… that no one will help you… that no one will want you.
That is not truth.
That is control.
Real love does not tear you down. It does not isolate you. It does not make you feel worthless. Those words spoken over you were never meant to build you—they were meant to keep you trapped.
Do not listen to that voice.
Instead, surround yourself—carefully—with people who remind you of your worth. Even one safe, supportive person can begin to shift how you see yourself.
And as you begin to move forward, be wise.
Not everyone needs to know your plans. If you are preparing to leave, keep your circle small. Protect your steps. Avoid leaving a trail that could be used against you. Your safety matters.
Understand this: you cannot control your abuser—but you can take back control of your own life.
Focus on building strength, confidence, and a future that is no longer defined by fear.
If you are planning to leave, let your decision be final.
Going back does not fix the problem. It deepens it.
When an abuser tries to pull you back, it is not because they love you—it is because they miss controlling you. They may cry, promise change, or say everything you’ve longed to hear. But the moment control is restored, the abuse will return— way worse than before.
Do not mistake manipulation for love.
You were not disrespected by accident. Boundaries were ignored—or never allowed—and that is why the cycle continued. And if you are dealing with a narcissistic personality, understand this: their version of “love” is control.
That will not change because you hope it will.
If you leave, stay gone.
No contact. No calls. No messages. No “just checking in.” No responding to tears, anger, or guilt. This is not cruelty—it is survival.
You deserve peace. You deserve safety. You deserve a life that is not ruled by fear.
And if you are staying “for the children,” please hear this with love and urgency:
You are not protecting them—you are exposing them.
Children see more than we think. They hear the words, feel the tension, and carry the weight. Abuse does not stay between two adults—it shapes the hearts and futures of those watching it. It takes away their innocence and joyful childhood they should have had. Don't ignore that. Keep that sacred because these are your children and they only have you to fight for them and protect them. You can stop the abuse permanently. I suggest moving far away where you cannot be found. I believe this is crucial.
I want to say something very important here. If your children are in school, you must get the children's school records BEFORE you leave! The same day you leave. Not before. That way another school cannot contact the children's school and leave a trail where you can be found. Another important thing is don't leave hastily and never let your abuser know your planning on leaving. That will never work. Plan very carefully, have everything in order, and then leave. I would also suggest staying in the very same state but very far away so that you don't have to change your driver's license information. You can be traced through the DMV, so leave it as it stands. You can ask your counselor later what to do when the occasion arises for renewal. I won't go into that here but they will know what to do or you could ask me in a private message so this message is not so long. But that's the least of your worries. Do what you have to do, first. But no matter what, protect yourself and your children if you have any.
They are learning what love looks like from what they see.
And without intervention, there's a good chance they will grow up to repeat it—either as the one who abuses, or the one who accepts it.
You have the power to break that cycle.
You have the power to protect them.
And you have the power to change the course of your life.
I know this because I have lived it. It took careful planning. After 34 years of abuse, I walked away under terrifying circumstances—but God made a way where there seemed to be no way. I walked away with 20 bucks in my pocket and two children in the backseat of my car. I had to protect myself and my children. If I can do that, I know you can. I had no job, but God helped me find a job and also a place to stay, the very first night. I knew he would. I trusted him and he came through, as always. Just as he will for you.
He will do the same for you.
Do not give up!
Your life is worth fighting for.
I'll share with you one last thought the Lord gave me, when I had to leave everything behind. I hope it will bless you, empower you, and sustain you, just as much as it motivated, strengthened, and blessed me:
It's not what we lose in life. It's what we do with what we have left, that counts.
" I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to help you, not hurt you. Plans to give you Hope... and a future."
So the real question becomes: how long will you allow it?
How long will you suffer so someone else can maintain control over you?
This is not love. This is not normal. And you did not cause it.
You are being controlled, manipulated, and wounded—and whether you realize it or not, you may have been conditioned to accept it. But hear this clearly: you do not have to continue living this way.
There comes a moment when truth has to rise above fear. A moment when you are honest with yourself about what is really happening. That moment is where your power begins.
Taking back your life requires action.
Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s complicated. Fear, lack of resources, emotional exhaustion—these are real barriers. But they do not change the truth: nothing will change until you do.
You don’t have to do everything at once. Start small. Set one boundary. Reach out for help. Learn something new. Take one step forward. Then another.
You may need support—and you should seek it. A trusted counselor can help you create a safe and strategic plan. But no one can do this for you. You have to want freedom. And you have to be ready to fight for it.
Your abuser has worked hard to convince you that you are weak… that you can’t make it… that no one will help you… that no one will want you.
That is not truth.
That is control.
Real love does not tear you down. It does not isolate you. It does not make you feel worthless. Those words spoken over you were never meant to build you—they were meant to keep you trapped.
Do not listen to that voice.
Instead, surround yourself—carefully—with people who remind you of your worth. Even one safe, supportive person can begin to shift how you see yourself.
And as you begin to move forward, be wise.
Not everyone needs to know your plans. If you are preparing to leave, keep your circle small. Protect your steps. Avoid leaving a trail that could be used against you. Your safety matters.
Understand this: you cannot control your abuser—but you can take back control of your own life.
Focus on building strength, confidence, and a future that is no longer defined by fear.
If you are planning to leave, let your decision be final.
Going back does not fix the problem. It deepens it.
When an abuser tries to pull you back, it is not because they love you—it is because they miss controlling you. They may cry, promise change, or say everything you’ve longed to hear. But the moment control is restored, the abuse will return— way worse than before.
Do not mistake manipulation for love.
You were not disrespected by accident. Boundaries were ignored—or never allowed—and that is why the cycle continued. And if you are dealing with a narcissistic personality, understand this: their version of “love” is control.
That will not change because you hope it will.
If you leave, stay gone.
No contact. No calls. No messages. No “just checking in.” No responding to tears, anger, or guilt. This is not cruelty—it is survival.
You deserve peace. You deserve safety. You deserve a life that is not ruled by fear.
And if you are staying “for the children,” please hear this with love and urgency:
You are not protecting them—you are exposing them.
Children see more than we think. They hear the words, feel the tension, and carry the weight. Abuse does not stay between two adults—it shapes the hearts and futures of those watching it. It takes away their innocence and joyful childhood they should have had. Don't ignore that. Keep that sacred because these are your children and they only have you to fight for them and protect them. You can stop the abuse permanently. I suggest moving far away where you cannot be found. I believe this is crucial.
I want to say something very important here. If your children are in school, you must get the children's school records BEFORE you leave! The same day you leave. Not before. That way another school cannot contact the children's school and leave a trail where you can be found. Another important thing is don't leave hastily and never let your abuser know your planning on leaving. That will never work. Plan very carefully, have everything in order, and then leave. I would also suggest staying in the very same state but very far away so that you don't have to change your driver's license information. You can be traced through the DMV, so leave it as it stands. You can ask your counselor later what to do when the occasion arises for renewal. I won't go into that here but they will know what to do or you could ask me in a private message so this message is not so long. But that's the least of your worries. Do what you have to do, first. But no matter what, protect yourself and your children if you have any.
They are learning what love looks like from what they see.
And without intervention, there's a good chance they will grow up to repeat it—either as the one who abuses, or the one who accepts it.
You have the power to break that cycle.
You have the power to protect them.
And you have the power to change the course of your life.
I know this because I have lived it. It took careful planning. After 34 years of abuse, I walked away under terrifying circumstances—but God made a way where there seemed to be no way. I walked away with 20 bucks in my pocket and two children in the backseat of my car. I had to protect myself and my children. If I can do that, I know you can. I had no job, but God helped me find a job and also a place to stay, the very first night. I knew he would. I trusted him and he came through, as always. Just as he will for you.
He will do the same for you.
Do not give up!
Your life is worth fighting for.
I'll share with you one last thought the Lord gave me, when I had to leave everything behind. I hope it will bless you, empower you, and sustain you, just as much as it motivated, strengthened, and blessed me:
It's not what we lose in life. It's what we do with what we have left, that counts.
" I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to help you, not hurt you. Plans to give you Hope... and a future."
