If you keep rewinding the same old clip in your head, sooner or later, it will get old and break! We're not going that way.

@SW-User

Every time you are tempted, remember that every choice you make in the wrong direction, has consequences. If you want to avoid the consequences, then take responsibility and use your power to say no. Temptations are mere suggestions. You are bigger than suggestions. You do know how to say yes or no and make the right choices for yourself, that will benefit you for the rest of your life. The more you ask yourself is this the right thing to do, the better you will become at it. Think about that and try it. It works. I no longer feel powerless over overeating. I took my power back. It was very freeing to realize that I had the power all the time. I just became fearful and didn't know I had it, but when I took that power back, I was successful. I was no longer a slave to suggestions. It actually works right away and that's because you are in control. I found that asking myself that one question at times when I feel tempted, caused that desire to go away. I liked being the boss of my own life again. The truth sets you free, indeed. Prayer is also a huge help in this. You accept yourself as you are and love yourself enough to do the right thing. You really have no desire to do the wrong thing. Not when you take your power back.

@LadyGrace They are but suggestions, I know. And in this world, it's hard to know - and even more, from my time I've learned a lot of things. I may have been looking for suggestions, and should not have talked with my ex-ex while struggling with my ex. I learned the heart does not lie upon if you are happy, or sad. You might have misinterpreted before. I don't view these things as parts belonging to power, but I imagine they do.

@SW-User

I wish I had understood that but I had no details. You know, our gut is a great indicator and predictor of what we know we should, or should not do. When we go against that little voice, that's where we mess up. When we know better, we do better.

@LadyGrace But sometimes you have to go against even that, but if you do have to open yourself to the possibility of hurt.

@SW-User

When you return to the past, trying to make things work again, that's a big mistake, unless the two of you have really talk things out and both want the same thing. Of course we have good common sense to utilize, as well. Lessons are so we learn from them and don't repeat them. If it didn't work the first time it's doubtful it will work the second time and when you try to force that, you're lying to yourself, and if you proceed, your pain will be 10 times worse than the last time. You're just inviting the same devils back into your life. Only this time they are stronger and meaner.

@LadyGrace I've dealt with this question before when my ex had her father be diagnosed stage 4 cancer. There was no easy answer for me, help her as I cared deeply, I loved both of them. I chose trying to care for them. I had to set myself aside some.

@SW-User

You don't have to go against your gut and that's really a bad idea. It is in place for a reason. That reason is to help protect you and it's not healthy to go against the grain, so to speak. You're trying to force a round circle into a square peg, and it just doesn't work. They became an ex for good reason. Now granted, some people change, but only temporarily sometimes to get what they want. People don't change unless they want to. We cannot force that and we cannot pretend everything's going to be great when it never worked before so we have to ask ourselves what has changed so drastically that this could work again, but it's a bad idea to kid yourself. Ask yourself a few questions:

Do I respect this person, that wants to get back together with me?

Is there good communication between the two of us?

Do I really love this person or is it because I'm lonely and need company or something else?

Does this person really love me and do they show it, or are we always arguing and can never compromise to where we will both be happy?

Do I really trust this person, and does this person have trust in me?

Do I want to live with someone who is Unfaithful or dishonest?

How many of those did you answer "no" to? If there is no trust, no communication, no faithfulness and no honesty or love, you don't have a relationship.

@SW-User

Of course, that's a different scenario.

@LadyGrace We all have different needs and wants though. I really say a relationship starts in love and respect. It can take any form as long as all parties involved want it to be continued. My ex, had an affair, I'd never thought I'd accept, but truth is I learned with her I would as long as she would work with me.

@SW-User It absolutely does! I wrote a few months ago, about how to keep your marriage and make it work, here. I believe you can definitely work your marriage out.