I relapsed

I relapsed on 1 bag. I feel so low. I'm trying to prevent myself from letting this be a full blown relapse. Idk maybe ppl were right when they advised me that I should detox in a more controlled setting. I'm in tears right now. I feel so guilty. I tried so hard. Honestly I did...

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Lostpoet · M

Sobriety isn't an all or nothing kind of thing. You used less times this year than you did last, probably less times this month than you did last. Just keep working on it day by day. It's a struggle but your life is better without the crutch of drugs.

alainc2490 · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet Thank you. It just bothers the hell out of me bc I honestly want this more than anything and I tried my best. I need to be more realistic though and get back on the horse when I fall instead of letting it beat me up.

Lostpoet · M

@alainc2490 That's the way to go at it. You weren't an addict the first time you used so it only makes sense that you won't quit without an occasional slip up.

alainc2490 · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet I also don't want to let my boyfriend down. He would honesty hate me if he found out. He makes it impossible to make any mistakes. That's y I'm being so hard on myself right now.

Lostpoet · M

@alainc2490 it's not his life he doesn't have to know anything about it.

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alainc2490 · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet True and I honestly feel better. Thank u for being uplifting and not kicking me while I'm down like others have in the past.

Lostpoet · M

@alainc2490 I feel for you man that sht is hard to overcome and it probably wasn't your choice to be addicted in the first place. Everyone thinks they're invisible at the beginning.

alainc2490 · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet No I never wanted to feel or be put in a position where I'm victimized for a life I din't ask for. I always imagined myself owning my life and being a free creative spirit. I am still that person somewhere deep inside. I look back at past music that I wrote and recorded and begin to feel that lust for life that I once had. Even if it's just for a moment.

alainc2490 · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tM_JGAuR-AY this was something I wrote before I got into drugs.

alainc2490 · 31-35, M

@alainc2490 or just search up on YouTube Alain Elektric No Love.

Lostpoet · M

@alainc2490 Very talented, man.

alainc2490 · 31-35, M

@Lostpoet Thank you. I don't think I'm the next anything but music is a way to heal my soul. I wrote that song to help ppl who felt like the world is against them to rely on their own Inner strength and that you should never live up to anyone's expectations except your own.