I've really been through a dark period this year.

Firstly, let me tell you that I deactivated FB because it's shallow and people are savage on FB. I've gotten much more from SW.

I think I've turned a corner and realized that there's two ways to look at my life. I can beat myself up for not having good credit, a fat savings, a true career or a driver's license at age 36 (due to alcoholism in my 20's) or I can see the good in myself. I can tell myself I'm a loser or I can tell myself the positives:

I have over 6 years sober

I pay my bills now & have learned to be more responsible

I'm a good mother to our toddler

I have a successful marriage of 4 years & am a faithful wife

My house is clean & my lawn mowed

I'm employable and starting a new job soon

I have most of my health intact

Most of my problems are fixable. I just need to find the strength to do so.

Can someone help me forgive myself for my mistakes?

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syfy86 · 46-50, M Best Comment

Wow, you have SO much to be proud of! Mistakes? Shortcomings? That means you're human. From everything you describe you've matured and grown into a strong individual!

6 years sober! That is a [b]SERIOUS[/b] accomplishment! Many of us can drum up the courage to achieve something once; your sobriety means you decided to make a change (an accomplishment in itself), then showed commitment and strength. Congratulations!! If it was the only thing on this list then it means you're doing great.

pay your bills - you're mature and accept responsibility for yourself. You understand much of life isn't sexy, but it's important.

Good mother to your toddler - you're succeeding at your most important job. You're not selfish. You have good priorities.

Successful marriage & faithful wife - again, great priorities.

I was going to go through the list, but they all show you as someone who understands and is succeeding at the important things in life!!! There are many things that pressure and guilt us into misprioritizing life, or thinking we're not "succeeding." Don't listen to them. Feel the love of your child. Your statement "most of my problems are fixable" is outstanding and on point. Slowly and steadily work on the problems, but your value isn't defined by them, and certainly not by others.

You're doing great! Keep it up. Keep moving in the right direction. :)

ButterRobot · 51-55, M

It sounds like you now like yourself - congratulations.

Every mistake you made led to you - helped you grow into a responsible adult. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just part of the maturing process. Some people do it the hard way.

MeowMeowCat36 · 36-40, F

@ButterRobot I often feel disgusted with myself but I'm at least finding the good.

ButterRobot · 51-55, M

@MeowMeowCat36 Everyone has regrets. Its part of living.

novaguy2u · 70-79, M

You sound as though you have life under control. Congratulate yourself. Keep looking forwards, don't look back. We all make mistakes, especially when we are young. It doesn't pay to dwell on them.

Lostpoet · M

What's ever in the past just leave it there you are putting in work at the present and your future will spoil you forgive yourself and take the spoils.

Coppercoil · M

I'm going in the opposite direction. Help.

MeowMeowCat36 · 36-40, F

@Coppercoil there's gotta be good things about you. Make a list of them.

Fertilization · 36-40, F

Stay blessed always.

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