Hopeful Romantic

I am definitely a hopeless romantic. Or perhaps it might be more fitting to say I'm a hopeful romantic. I have always dreamt of wanting to be in a healthy and long-term relationship. For so long I wondered why after so many years, that I never met anyone I liked or felt connected with. It used to made it feel embarrassed as I was often the only friend was who single. But now, I'm comfortable just living life myself. I'm hopeful that I will meet the right person. Instead of feeling down or feeling the need to rush such a thing, I will continue to work on myself, love myself and strive to achieve my goals.

I know the right person will come when the time is right :)

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Deadish · 31-35, M

That’s a good attitude and a great way to go about it. Too many people don’t set the right standards for themselves 🙃

Donotfolowme · 51-55, F

@Deadish loneliness is a curse and an incurable disease

lavieliv · 26-30, F

@Deadish Growing up I watched my friends lower their standards because they wanted to be in a relationship so badly. It pained me to see that and in the end, those relationships brought them down. I will never settle for less. I got standards and I respect myself too much to do that to myself. I wish others would hold themselves up higher.

FCNantes · 22-25, M

@lavieliv I've got (very) high standards, too.

lavieliv · 26-30, F

@FCNantes Having standards are great! My friends would tease me that my standards in partners are too high but I don't think so!

Deadish · 31-35, M

@Donotfolowme so you think it’s hopeless? @lavieliv I’ve witnessed the same things with friends as well. It taught me a lot and showed me that it’s ok to be alone. Learned to rely on yourself for happiness instead of others. I don’t expect perfection but a connection is necessary otherwise I feel it’s just wasting time.

lavieliv · 26-30, F

@Deadish It saddens me that media has really pushed us to believe that we can only be truly happy unless we are in a relationship. Honestly, finding happiness from within is far better because if you rely your happiness on just a person, what if they leave? It just hurts you in the end. It's best to learn to be comfortable with yourself. Whenever I decide to date, I want a real deep connection.

Deadish · 31-35, M

@lavieliv I think that’s a big part of it. It really effected me growing up. Always made me feel a bit alienated that my friends all dated more often and had more relationships. Glad I grew out of it though. These longer term relationships definitely have more depth to them. I made that mistake in your question. I’m working on fixing it though and it’s helped me a lot so far.

lavieliv · 26-30, F

@Deadish As a teenager and throughout the beginning of my college years, I did feel awkward when all my friends were dating. It was hard to spend time with them when they only wanted to be with their partner (which leads to an entirely different rant, haha). I'm sorry you went through that but you are growing from it and for that, I have great respect for you. I can't imagine it was easy.

Deadish · 31-35, M

@lavieliv I think I know where that rent would take things haha. It’s definitely healthy to have space and variety is wonderful for social interactions. Reminds me of when some people get married and stop spending time with their friends altogether, sad really. I appreciate the kind words. It was not and still isn’t but it’s getting better. I think that’s what stops me from being a failure is growing from things even if it isn’t always pleasant.

lavieliv · 26-30, F

@Deadish It really saddens me to see friends only spend time with their partner. Abandoning your friends just hurts and I just watch them slowly lose their individuality.

It's not easy to grow and overcome these obstacles, but small steps are still great progress!

Deadish · 31-35, M

@lavieliv too true. I don’t think it’s very healthy either. A partner should help your individuality grown, not take away from it.

It’s a process but making the right little decisions daily definitely helps to stay on the path.

FCNantes · 22-25, M

@lavieliv I know I'm bereft of friends at the moment, but if 1 of my friends completely ditched me for a partner (without logistical issues), I'd be doing my own break-up! I wouldn't mind less time, especially if a lot of time was spent hanging out together pre-relationship, but a blackout's unacceptable to me.