Guys do you *always* carry condoms with you regardless of the situation? Do you get STI checks before any new sexual encounter?

@swirlie I really like the 'no shame' approach. I had zero sex education in school (primary in 1970's, high/secondary in 1980's).

Apparently now with high/secondary schooling there is a mandatory subject on sex ed.

@zonavar68
The reason you had zero sex ed in school is because of the ancient lingering cloud of British Colonialism that hangs over Canada and the USA, to say nothing of the dark veil that still drifts over Great Britain to this sorrowful day.

I was born in Canada and went to school in Canada, but I was raised by Scandinavian parents in our rural farm setting. In our home, it was like turning on a TV episode of 'Little House on the Fiord'!

Because I was born in Canada and was subjected to the same zero sex ed curriculum that you were subjected to in Australia, sex ed was taught to my sisters and I by our Swedish mom who taught us from her high school-issued sex ed manual that she saved from her old high school days.

From the time my sisters and I were in grade one, we were taught about sex at that level of our comprehension and that home-schooled sex ed never ended until we had all graduated from high school!

@swirlie I'm in Australia but basically the same thing applies. I had nil sex ed or assistance of any sort with making friends, having relationships, etc. from my parents before they split up when I was 12 in 1980, and after that both parents while still alive were practically never available to have discussions with on those important topics. I didn't get interested in any of it until my early 20's but nothing really happened until my mid-20's and it was all basically a hot mess (not in a good way) until my first proper partner. By then it was just presumed I already know everything (I didn't) about sex.

@zonavar68
Yes, I know you're from Australia but I failed to acknowledge that. Previous post edited.

The time in your life when your parents split up, you were 12 years old and probably at the beginning if your pubescent years. For them to split at that critical juncture in your life means they both were totally unconscious not of you, but of themselves. You cannot blame them for not knowing any better. If they knew better, they would have done better, it's as simple as that.

When I was starting grade 6, I was 11 years old and just starting puberty. My two sisters went through puberty at the same age as me. But two years before any of that happened, our mom sat us down at the kitchen table and told us what was going to happen to each of us and what puberty would look like.

Two years later, her prediction came to fruition and everyone in our household suddenly became aware of the arrival of that very first silver pubic hair on each one of us which turned into a moment of rejoice as well as reflection of our passing youth as we celebrated that transition as family in our living room from the moment the news broke!

My girl friends that I went to school with in Canada did not have that same reception in their family living rooms in their homes as my sisters and I did in our's, only because their parents (somewhat like your's) hadn't spoken to them about sex or their bodies or the changes that would occur, so all of that stuff got talked about among the girls in the change room in our school gym, which is the wrong place to start that conversation.

The reason their parents taught them nothing about sex was because their parents knew nothing about sex themselves. In many ways, it was best that their parents never attempted to teach their daughters anything about sex.

Like I said, we can't blame our parents for what they didn't teach us, but we can blame ourselves for not taking the time to find out what we didn't know about sex and condoms and soliciting acts of sex for ourselves when we needed it most as we entered adulthood.

You are not alone in your early adolescent experiences. Most men I speak to who confide in me about such stuff, pretty much all tell me the same story as you've mentioned, except for those men who live in Scandinavia when I visit over there a few times each year.

Because sex is so open and everyone knows what their respective roles are if they were raised in a Scandinavian environment, it's like night and day when you walk into a social setting in Sweden compared to a social setting in western cultures (including Australia). In Norway and Sweden for example, it is normal social behavior for girls to ask guys out.

If I walk into a sidewalk cafe at lunch hour in Finland or Denmark, it would be expected of me as a woman to invite someone I found of interest who was sitting alone at the bar eating lunch, to join me at my little round table for two.

I would either walk over and ask him myself, or I'd ask the waitress to extend my invitation on my behalf at which point she would escort the gentleman over to my table if he too was interested in having lunch with me. That is normal in Scandinavia. It doesn't mean that hookups happen at lunch hour, it means that nobody is expected to eat alone, but it is expected that the woman will do the asking, not the guy.

Anytime you'd like to talk about anything like this, don't hesitate to solicit a discussion from me!