I Think About Having An Affair

Was there any fallout from the affair?

@NewKidInTown: yes, of course. I don't think most wives ever recover entirely. It's something you should factor in.

You should also understand that anytime, for the rest of your life, some are going to brand you a cheat and a liar. That's all part of the territory.

So, if you have to do it, test the water first. Get your toes wet before you dive in.

@Adogslife: How did it all end?

@Adogslife: @NewKidInTown: soz to interrupt but sounds like you have no idea the effect affairs have on a family. If you're not happy, leave simple as that, it's just selfish stringing someone along in the case the affair doesn't work out

@Insanity: Have you ever been in an affair or been cheated on?

@NewKidInTown: not myself but I was a first hand witness to it and left to pick up the pieces from one. I just don't think people realise the mess it leaves behind whilst they go on with their lives..

@NewKidInTown: she went nuts and called my wife. She started to call the house at odd hours, do drivebys, leave lipstick kiss marks on my car even hide things like lipstick and a thong in my wife's car when we borrowed it one day. We never had sex in my wife's car. She simply planted it there. It got worse. Eventually it took a restraining order to stop her antics.

@Insanity: Maybe not. I've witnessed it first hand as well, and have been a victim, which leads me to wonder why I would even consider it, not that I am even close to having one.

@Adogslife: Oh geez, doesnt sound worth it. Did you stay with your wife, did she forgive you?

@Insanity: you're correct. It does harm the children. It was ten plus years ago but I still remember sitting on the sofa and telling my two daughters that their mother and I were having problems and that I'd be gone for awhile. It's probably the shittiest thing I've ever had to do.

Now that they're older, both understand. Neither blames me. I'm sure she's told them that she's frigid amongst other things both medically and psychologically. I've never said a negative word to either daughter as I thought it would be unfair for them to have their loving perception of their mother crushed or challenged.

@Adogslife: So the question remains: Do you regret having it? Would you do it again, knowing the good, bad & ugly? Any advice for those who have had this thought cross their mind?

@GlamGirl: Glam, I do not regret it. I am apologetic for the harm it caused everyone, but now everyone is older. My daughter's are 28 & 20 respectively.

When my 20 year old was "mediating" an conversation between her mother and I, my wife admitted to being frigid/sexless. In shock, my daughter replied, "Nothing? Like not even a blow job?"

She got her answer. Later, I ran an open marriage, divorce or infidelity by her as options. She chose divorce knowing I won't buy her out at that price.

Yes, I would do it again. I want passion and spontaneity. I want risk and woman that knows she's vivacious.

If you have a good woman, you'll never need a drug because there is no better high.

@Adogslife: That is all very interesting. I like your last statement, though I wish my husband believed that. I am lucky he fills his prescription, much less takes it...

@GlamGirl I'm sorry to hear that. I'd suggest proceeding with real caution. If you catch a guy that's a 9 or 10 on whatever your personal scale is, it's hard to walk away from the addiction.

Chances are, I could never bring myself to do so IRL, but I appreciate the perspective of those who have. @Adogslife