Discussing love languages and how they impact relationships
How do I find the their love language and pleasure them as much as they wants?
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Applepiedom · 56-60, M
@NewRaven well said
christylee · 36-40
@NewRaven at the same time how to not come as needy. I see my soft side being labelled as red flag/needy behavior.
NewRaven · 51-55, F
@christylee i don’t think showing your soft side and being vulnerable are needy traits. To me, needy is when you contact the person multiple times a day, trying to be with them 24 hours a day, more of a smothering of someone. That kind of thing. You should maintain your own interests and hobbies so that when you are together, you continue to have things to talk about.
But trying to show love in someone’s love language? I think most people would find that endearing because it’s not common given today’s rampant self centeredness.
But trying to show love in someone’s love language? I think most people would find that endearing because it’s not common given today’s rampant self centeredness.
OogieBoogie · F
1. Forget about this stupid 'love language' trend.
2. This 'Love language' thing is about seeing how your loved one expresses and acknowledges appreciation of affection. All it is is a breakdown of the [i]general [/i] things people may like
And be aware - what they do, may not always match up with what they want.
Ie: they may buy presents for you, but really respond to verbal compliments themselves .
3. It's about [i]knowing [/i] someone. And expressing how you feel through different ways - which is what the 'love languages' are an example of.
But generally no one 'language' will be the fix all to that expression.
4. That expression has to be heartfelt: spontaneous desire to do, or say, something to show you love them .
Sometimes it's something superfluous, like a random compliment, or buying them some small thing you saw they you know they'd love. Sometimes it's something needed that they can't do themselves ....help with getting into a project, or being a sounding board for their worries.
5. The only way you can know this is to know them . Talk , communicate, find out where they want support, their little desires, their quirks, dreams and ambitions ....find out these little things ...be involved with what is meaningful to them .
6. And it's just as important to notice what they give and do to try to acknowledge their love for you.
In fact, it's crucial . Coz if they say and do things and you [i]don't [/i] notice and acknowledge them - it hurts.
Showing affection and love for someone can be as simple as doing the dishes, or elaborate as taking them on a fancy date. And each can be equally meaningful.
But more often than not - it's the small things - touch, recognition, being listened to, quality time together. Making that someone special, [i]feel[/i] special.
And only you can find out. You need to pay attention [i]to them [/i]- observe, notice ,...ask if you have to .
Communication is a multi faceted thing : it's not just what we say, it's how our body responds , our facial expressions, how engaged we are.
One last thing - don't do these things in the expectation they will be 'solutions' or that they will always work .
Ie: it's no good surprising her with a fancy dinner out of she's had a bad day - it's a good thing at a bad time. People aren't equations, we are random and moody.
Be receptive.
2. This 'Love language' thing is about seeing how your loved one expresses and acknowledges appreciation of affection. All it is is a breakdown of the [i]general [/i] things people may like
And be aware - what they do, may not always match up with what they want.
Ie: they may buy presents for you, but really respond to verbal compliments themselves .
3. It's about [i]knowing [/i] someone. And expressing how you feel through different ways - which is what the 'love languages' are an example of.
But generally no one 'language' will be the fix all to that expression.
4. That expression has to be heartfelt: spontaneous desire to do, or say, something to show you love them .
Sometimes it's something superfluous, like a random compliment, or buying them some small thing you saw they you know they'd love. Sometimes it's something needed that they can't do themselves ....help with getting into a project, or being a sounding board for their worries.
5. The only way you can know this is to know them . Talk , communicate, find out where they want support, their little desires, their quirks, dreams and ambitions ....find out these little things ...be involved with what is meaningful to them .
6. And it's just as important to notice what they give and do to try to acknowledge their love for you.
In fact, it's crucial . Coz if they say and do things and you [i]don't [/i] notice and acknowledge them - it hurts.
Showing affection and love for someone can be as simple as doing the dishes, or elaborate as taking them on a fancy date. And each can be equally meaningful.
But more often than not - it's the small things - touch, recognition, being listened to, quality time together. Making that someone special, [i]feel[/i] special.
And only you can find out. You need to pay attention [i]to them [/i]- observe, notice ,...ask if you have to .
Communication is a multi faceted thing : it's not just what we say, it's how our body responds , our facial expressions, how engaged we are.
One last thing - don't do these things in the expectation they will be 'solutions' or that they will always work .
Ie: it's no good surprising her with a fancy dinner out of she's had a bad day - it's a good thing at a bad time. People aren't equations, we are random and moody.
Be receptive.