A typical 12-year-old girl living in Italy today is navigating a unique blend of deep-rooted cultural traditions, transitional schooling, close-knit family structures, and modern digital trends. At 12, she finds herself at a crucial turning point, right on the edge of adolescence.
🏫 School and Everyday Life
• The Middle School Pivot: At 12, she is typically in her final year (terza media) of Scuola Secondaria di Primo Grado (middle school). This is a high-stakes year for her, as she must pass a major state exam (l'esame di terza media) at the end of the school year and choose which specialized high school (liceo or istituto tecnico) she will attend next. • Daily Routine: Her school days usually start early (around 8:00 AM) and wrap up by 1:00 PM or 2:00 PM, Monday through Saturday. She generally returns home to have a fresh, multi-course lunch with her family, followed by a heavy afternoon load of homework.
🏠 Family and Social Dynamics
• Strong Family Anchors: Family remains central to her daily life. Sunday lunches with extended family—grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins—are common staples of her week. • Supervised Independence: While Italian teenagers eventually enjoy high levels of independence, a 12-year-old is often kept on a relatively close leash. Parents generally keep a tight circle of trust regarding who she hangs out with, often preferring she stay close to relatives or long-time family friends for safety. • The Afternoon Piazza: Hanging out with friends usually involves gathering at a local piazza, walking around the town center (fare le vasche), or grabbing a gelato after school.
📱 Hobbies, Style, and Digital Culture
• Social Media & Trends: Like most Gen Z/Generation Alpha tweens globally, she is heavily connected. TikTok, Instagram, and WhatsApp are her primary modes of communication. She follows Italian and international influencers, participates in viral dance trends, and uses classic Italian expressive hand gestures natively, blending digital culture with classic Italian sass. • Fashion: Style is introduced early in Italy. While she wears comfortable streetwear like sneakers, oversized hoodies, and jeans for school, there is an innate emphasis on putting together a cohesive, bella figura (good impression) look when going out in public. • Extracurriculars: Her free time outside of homework is typically occupied by sports like volleyball, swimming, or dance, as well as English lessons or music.
My daughter has people she focuses on to give her a positive outlook and attitude towards life. She is personally devoted to Saint Clare of Assisi and lately she has researched a new saint from our century (I was born five years after her death), Chiara Badano.
Chiara Badano (October 29, 1971 – October 7, 1990) was an Italian woman who has been beatified by the Roman Catholic Church. At age nine, she joined the Focolare Movement and received the nickname "Luce" ("light") by the founder Chiara Lubich. When she was 16, she was diagnosed with osteogenic sarcoma, a painful bone cancer. Chiara died from the cancer on October 7, 1990, after a two-year battle with the disease. She was beatified on September 25, 2010, at the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Divine Love in Rome. Her feast day is celebrated on October 29.
Chiara Badano was born on October 29, 1971, to Ruggero Badano and Maria Teresa Caviglia in the small village of Sassello, Italy. The couple waited and prayed eleven years to have Chiara. While Ruggero worked as a truck driver, Maria Teresa stayed at home to raise their daughter. Chiara grew up with a strong and healthy relationship with her parents, but she did not always obey them and would occasionally have fights with them.
Focolare Movement
Chiara attended her first meeting of the Focolare Movement in September 1980; she was only 9 years old. This group, especially its founder Chiara Lubich, had a profound impact on Chiara's life. The group focused on the image of the forsaken Christ as a way to make it through difficult times. Chiara later wrote that, "I discovered that Jesus forsaken is the key to unity with God, and I want to choose him as my only spouse. I want to be ready to welcome him when he comes. To prefer him above all else."
While Chiara was a conscientious student, she struggled in school and even failed her first year of high school. She was often teased in school for her strong beliefs and was given the nickname "Sister." She enjoyed the normal teenage pastimes such as listening to pop music, dancing, and singing. She was also an avid tennis player and enjoyed hiking and swimming.
During the summer of 1988, when she was 16 years old, Chiara had a life-changing experience in Rome with the Focolare Movement. She wrote to her parents, "This is a very important moment for me: it is an encounter with Jesus Forsaken. It hasn't been easy to embrace this suffering, but this morning Chiara Lubich explained to the children that they have to be the spouse of Jesus Forsaken." After this trip, she started to correspond regularly with Lubich. She then asked for her new name as this was going to be the start of a new life for her. Lubich gave her the name Chiara Luce. This was a kind of a play on words, since in Italian "Chiara" is a common girl's name, taken for example from the name of Clare of Assisi, but it is also an everyday word meaning "clear." "Luce" is occasionally found as a girl's name in Italy, though it is mostly secular rather than religious; and it is also an everyday word meaning "light." So "Chiara Luce" means "clear light." Lubich wrote to Chiara, "Your luminous face shows your love for Jesus," which is why she gave her the name Luce.
Illness
In the summer of 1988, Chiara felt a sting of pain in her shoulder while playing tennis. At first she thought nothing of it, but when the pain continued to be present she underwent a series of tests. The doctors then discovered she had a rare and painful form of bone cancer, osteogenic sarcoma. In response, Chiara simply declared, "It's for you, Jesus; if you want it, I want it, too."
Throughout the treatment process, Chiara refused to take any morphine so she could stay aware. She felt it was important to know her illness and pain so she could offer up her sufferings. She said, "It reduces my lucidity and there's only one thing I can do now: to offer my suffering to Jesus because I want to share as much as possible in his sufferings on the cross." During her stays in the hospital, she would take the time to go on walks with another patient who was struggling with depression. These walks were beneficial to the other patient but caused Chiara great pain. Her parents often encouraged her to stay and rest but she would simply reply, "I'll be able to sleep later on."
One of her doctors, Antonio Delogu, said, "Through her smile, and through her eyes full of light, she showed us that death doesn't exist; only life exists." A friend from the Focolare Movement said, "At first we thought we'd visit her to keep her spirits up, but very soon we understood that, in fact, we were the ones who needed her. Her life was like a magnet drawing us to her."
Chiara kept her spirits up, even when the harsh chemotherapy caused her hair to fall out. When a lock of her hair would fall, Chiara would simply offer it to God, saying, "For you, Jesus." She also donated all her savings to a friend who was performing mission work in Africa. She wrote to him, "I don't need this money any more. I have everything."
To help prepare her parents for life after she died, Chiara made them dinner reservations for Valentine's Day after they refused to leave her bedside and ordered them to not return until after midnight. At Christmas she wrote, "Holy Christmas 1990. Thank you for everything. Happy New Year," on a Christmas card and hid it among some blank ones for her mother to find later.
Chiara's faith and spirit never dwindled even after the cancer left her unable to walk and a CAT scan showed that any hope of remission was gone. In response, she simply said, "If I had to choose between walking again and going to Heaven, I wouldn't hesitate. I would choose Heaven." On July 19, 1989, Chiara almost died of a hemorrhage. Her faith did not falter as she said, "Don't shed any tears for me. I'm going to Jesus. At my funeral, I don't want people crying, but singing with all their hearts."
Cardinal Saldarini, Archbishop of Turin, Italy, heard about Chiara's illness and visited her at the hospital. He asked her, "The light in your eyes is splendid. Where does it come from?" Chiara simply replied, "I try to love Jesus as much as I can."
When Chiara realized she was not going to get better, she started to make plans with her mother for her "wedding" (her funeral). She chose the music, hymns, flowers, and the readings for Mass. She wanted to be buried in her "wedding dress," a white dress with a pink waist, because her death would allow her to become the bride of Christ. She told her mother, "When you're getting me ready, Mum, you have to keep saying to yourself, 'Chiara Luce is now seeing Jesus.'" Before she died, she told her mother, "Oh, Mama, young people…young people…they are the future. You see, I can't run anymore, but how I would like to pass on to them the torch, like in the Olympics! Young people have only one life and it's worthwhile to spend it well."
Death
During her final hours, Chiara made her final confession and received the Eucharist. She had her family and friends pray with her, "Come, Holy Spirit." She died at 4 am on October 7, 1990, with her parents at her bedside. Her final words were, "Bye, Mum, be happy, because I am."[3] Two thousand people attended her funeral; the mayor of Sassello shut down the town so people would be able to attend.
Her remains are buried in the family chapel at Sassello Cemetery.
