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I Lost My Religion

i stopped going to church since 7 months ago. today i found that i was removed from the whatsapp grp of a cell grp i once joined there.

i removed myself from 3 other church related grps.

i wanted to leave those whatsapp grps since i left the church but was just too embarrassed to do so and lest i would affect other people s faith. now by being removed and removing myself, i should close this "trying to seek direction for life from religions" chapter and start a new life with a clear mind.

you dont need to be a believer of a religion to be a good, ethical and wise person.

there has been some discomfort meeting ex acquaintances from church, both from me and from them, i can see. people perhaps see me as a traitor. but after some time, i act pretty much like back to normal; they may perhaps still feel embarrassed. it always seems to me that, the so called love from christianity stops outside church, and especially excluding quitters.

i cannot care. i remind myself to have the courage to be disgusted. no one could be liked by everyone. and i dont believe there is a place where everyone likes everyone equally; i used to believe that naively but of course now i dont, it will never work, the world never works like that, in any grps in the world.

it s my life and it s great to control and accept myself. it s great to spend my free time the way i find meaningful, rather than confronting with people who demand and request too much from you because they have the authority, whose orders and decision i cannot agree with. i dont feel blessed working for other bosses after work. there are always people who think if they have good intention then everything they do is right. it s sick.

blessed was i being enlightened and took the courage to quit and decide for my own life.

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to my ex-aquaintances from church: just as i respect your religion, please respect my choice to quit and what (not) to believe.
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novembermoon · 51-55
My dear fren, I understand what you say about church. I was there once. It was a journey of a number of years. I can still remember some of those things said in cell group. Once I remarked that the Taj Mahal is beautiful and the whole group fell silent. I thought I had said something blasphemous. I had to qualify that the beauty I see in its architecture does not mean I would like more mosques to be built.
Another time, I had applied to leave the country to work in HK and was advised by the pastor against it. When I came back, the cell leader told me that if I wished to rejoin the cell, I had to show commitment, because they will not pander to the 'lowest denominator'.

I have had it with organised religion. Of course church is not perfect. Neither am I. I have enjoyed the fellowship of kind church brothers and sisters. It is a nice community. But I have also seen how restrictive and narrow it is. In such a competitive society like ours, I am already tired. I don't think I want to compete and prove myself worthy to enter the pearly gates of the church or cell group.
@novembermoon I couldn't have asked someone to word something better! Thanks for sharing. <3
novembermoon · 51-55
@KayraJordyn thank you. There are many who feel discouraged by church. It's ironic. Shouldn't be this way. But I have accepted it. We are fallible and imperfect. So is the church.
Absolutely I agree.
Sssslm · F
@novembermoon my experience: they appear friendly with purpose. before you join they appear friendly, after you have joined for a while, they become forceful and the way they speak doesn't have much wisdom because they suppose you have already submitted and have turned a sheep/slave thus would follow their order anyway. It s all lies and power game.
My father was a pastor @Sssslm. He didn't believe he was teaching lies, nor do I. Keep searching, S.