Any Christians/former Christians here who left the church?

Oh, cool. A question that's right up my alley.

So, I grew up in the Lutheran Church. My mom was raised Catholic, and I later found out that I was raised Lutheran because she was no longer welcome at the Catholic Church, because my dad had been married previously. But I didn't know about all that as a kid.

I learned all the Bible stories they like to tell kids, and really nothing about the problematic ones. But even with what little exposure to the Bible I had, I started questioning. I read a book called "God Loved The Muddle", a children's story about Genesis. At the end, it talked about people and how two people became four, and four people became 16, or whatever. I don't remember, exactly, but I do remember thinking that would involve a lot of inbreeding.

That was me at age five. Knowing little to nothing about how sex happened, or genetics, I just knew that siblings having children would be a bad thing.

But that's not what led me away from the church. I drifted for a while, not sure what religion to practice, because my mom didn't want me following my friend Brian into Wicca. Her reasoning was that if I was burning incense in the house, that would be a good way to cover up the smell of marijuana. (When I did start smoking marijuana, I just did it at friends' houses. 😆)

Eventually, I was drawn back into Christianity by a cousin of mine, who led me through a version of the sinner's prayer. He has a particular talent for exuding positive energy on a level you can feel. Over the internet. I mistook that joyous energy for the welcoming embrace of God. I was insufferable for a few years. Going to church, buying all the right clothes with Christian slogans on them, arguing about it online, and generally being a dick. (I didn't see it, of course, because I thought I was trying to save people from hell.)

Cut to a few years later. I had seen what I thought was a financial opportunity. Bought an ounce of marijuana, and divided it up into dub sacks. My first potential customer was an off-duty cop. So now I had a couple of years on my hands, and so I read the Bible. Cover to cover. Three times.

I tell you what, by the third read through, I had some serious questions. Not just about the inbreeding in Genesis, but about the whole thing. Witchcraft and divination, conjuring spirits of the dead? Possible according to the Bible, but not so much according to Christians. And let's not even get started with the story of Elisha and the bears.

It was around that time that I met a young man named David, who was something of an expert in Bible history. That is to say, the history of how the Bible was put together. From him, I learned that numerous books that were originally in the Torah and the tanak were excluded from what we call the Old Testament, and that at least one book that was included is so old, not even the rabbis know its age or origin. That book is Job, and it most likely predates Judaism, let alone Christianity, and was adapted from a different mythological system.

Between what I had read in the Bible, and what I was learning about how it was put together, I started to wake up. I resumed my much neglected energy work that I had begun before being banned from practicing Wicca. And it was then I realized how I was originally deceived into accepting Christianity. My cousin, through no fault of his own, is an emotional influencer, and can make you feel how he wants you to.

And so, while I believe in what some people call the paranormal or supernatural, I can no longer bring myself to believe in the Judeo-Christian god, a being who makes us the way he wants us to be, and then gets angry at us for being the way we are.