Guys! The rapture is back on!

After much research (none at all) I’ve discovered that God doesn’t use the Gregorian or Julian calendars! Of course, he/him/them/they use the Lunar calendar that he/him/them/they invented! And the new date will be October 26 because reasons!

So if you’re one of the ones who will absolutely positively without a doubt be raptured, can I have your house, cars and life savings please? God wants you to give them to me 🥸