My name is Joshua

While I was conversing with ChatGPT over a year ago about my ancestral roots, it blurted out I may have Kaifeng Jewish blood in me. Upon further research and asking ChatGPT again over time, I can't confirm nor deny such an allegation unless I get a DNA test and consult family records. I either don't have such lineage or if I do, it'd be quite distant and probably from my father's side as DNA testing can't really do matrilineage. I've pretty much been atheistic as a kid and eventually embraced agnosticism as a teenager. Now as an adult, I'm questioning whether or not I may be a henotheist, which is believing and worshipping in 1 supreme diety, but acknowledging and/or being skeptical of others.

In terms of monotheism, I never got well with the idea that there's some sky daddy or some invisible force that's all powerful, loving, present, and knowing yet not simultaneously. However, I can get with the concept of a Prime Mover as conceptualized by the ancient Greek philosophers, as well as Chinese philisophers that led to the religion of Taoism. Even the Hindu belief that all lesser dieties are just different manifestations of a supreme single diety seems more logical to me than the Abrahamic God. Although I do admit that the Gnostic view of what God is seems ridiculous, as apparently Yahweh is the devil but also creator of the physical reality, whereas the true God is somebody else entirely and created the abstract reality.

What a wonderful story! I am sure you know that Jewishness descends from the mother, always. It's inspiring that you went on to honor your heritage!