Once again I have been caught in a traffic jam...Why oh why do these people in cheap cars not pull over to the side and let those of us with expensive

LOL!

Good God Man!

The working-class, how [i]dare [/i]they even try to own a car? Let alone cheap ones, under £30 000. They'll be wanting homes of their own, washing-machines and decent meals next!

A simple safety-bicycle was good enough for their great-great-grandparents so it's good enough for them. No excuse for them now the Councils have got rid of the trams, filled in the rails and asphalted over the setts to give the undeserving trolley-bus passengers a smoother ride. They can bolt a basket on the front for their shopping, and one of those little seats on the back if they have a young sprog.

It's for us elderly with decent amounts of boodle, dimming eyesight and slowing reactions to own top-of-the-range cars, drive them at 10mph below the speed-limits and brake to 20mph for a bend even my gardener's old Series One Land-Rover can take at 50; so we keep all these upstart young typists and shelf-stackers in their place astern.

As for traffic-jams, i.e. all vehicles stopped and no-one able to pass anyone anyway; well, it's only natural that only we favoured few should be allowed to drive, so we've plenty of room for our far more important trips to the golf-club or country cottage.

On which I've even heard there are working-class types playing golf. Who do they think they are, and what do the committees think they are doing allowing the riff-raff to join? Obviously the subscriptions are far too low: put them up to a reasonable amount, say five grand a year, and the green fees to the cost of a full Rolls-Royce factory-service. I suppose we can let the upstarts pay for a shelter for their safety-bicycles, as long as it's hidden round the back of the club-house.