I Wasted My Time On Someone

I actually keep doing the same thing over and over again. I really care about this person, so I keep opening myself up...only to get hurt again. Each time I convince myself that this time, it will be different, but it never is. I'll probably continue doing the same thing over and over again. I tell myself that it's love...but honestly, I know it's just me being foolish. I know I'll never mean as much to this person as they mean to me. I just can't stop myself from trying. I'll always be invisible.

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weirdmofo · 36-40, F

I can relate to that...
I am in love with this guy, he told me was single. He told me he wasn't interested in being in relationships anymore. So I spaced myself from him. I quit talking to him. Then he came back up to me, and started acting super interested out of the blue, and even wanted to hang out with me at a show. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy. He flirted with me so much, and made comments to me, complimented me, touched me... He sent me all kinds of signals...
Right before the day of the show came, we were watching a TV show, and he said that this show is great because the two characters are in love with them but can never admit it to each other... He popped up at work twice on the same day, the second time, he was dressed so nice, and he talked to me both times... It felt like he was into me. And everyone else thought so.

When I got to the show, I happened to be right behind him out of pure coincidence. I had spent so much time trying to get ready... I was so happy I was going to finally get a chance to be with him.

Then I saw him get out of his car with another girl. And I know he saw me, but he completely ignored me. I lost my breath, I felt so embarrassed and stupid.
The next day, he rubbed it in... He asked me if I went to the show... Like really? I know he saw me.

And the worst part... I felt like I hated him and I never wanted to see him again, and hope he burned.

But the moment I saw him today, for a split second, we made eye contact, and I got the exact same feeling I did from before... I love him. It's basically going to take me leaving my job to not feel that way anymore.

What the hell did I do to deserve that kind of treatment?

InvisibleGirl · 18-21, F

That's horrible. I just keep feeling like I'm getting led on but nothing like that. It sounds like he doesn't really deserve you, but, I know how difficult it is to let go and move on...@weirdmofo

weirdmofo · 36-40, F

It really is, when they painted a picture of themselves in your mind, of the kind of person that seems amazing but is completely opposite

weirdmofo · 36-40, F

It's hard to let go of that belief, and it's easy to look for reasons as to why what they are doing isn't really what they are doing..

InvisibleGirl · 18-21, F

I totally understand that! Things never do change though. I can't really explain but I always feel like I'm the last choice. When all the people who are cared about more than I am aren't there, that's when I get chosen.

weirdmofo · 36-40, F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22zB6Soc2Gk

this song helped me

InvisibleGirl · 18-21, F

I really like that song!