I Want to Be Loved

I was married for 11 years. My ex husband and a serious partner I had before I was married both cheated on me and were heavy drinkers. I've learned a lot and know I won't allow myself to be treated badly again.

The problem I face now is that I've fallen in love with someone good, but I doubt my judgment since I've fallen for lies in the past. I don't want to believe fears my mind tells me because of the past - this isn't fair to my boyfriend now. I guess I'm still really scared that I will be deceived.

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Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

It is so hard when you find someone special after being abused. Take it slow. Get to know him.

Serenitree · F

Then don't. Trust him. Believe in him. He isn't either of your exes. He is himself.
I had a lot worse than liars and cheats and drunks in my past, and I never expected it from anyone of them. I decided to stop, because my kids had suffered enough, and the only way I could be sure it couldn't happen again, was by not letting anyone get close.

Freewanderer · 51-55, F

@Serenitree: It's really confusing not knowing whether to trust myself or not. But I also don't want to sabotage something beautiful I have.

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Serenitree · F

I get it. I understand. I've been alone for thirty one years, because I don't trust my own judgement.

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