Are you slowly giving up on finding true love?
I’m giving up on love entirely
I’ve been doing some thinking and I believe that it’s not in the cards for me to find a partner so instead I’ll live for my family (my parents). After they inevitably leave me, idk where I’ll be or if I’ll even be alive. I’m sorry if this is morbid or depressing but I just wanted to voice how I feel to someone who would listen. I feel like I’ve been at least somewhat cursed in this life by someone or something. Anybody else just give up, or want to give up, on love / romance / relationships?
I'm a pretty passionate person, and I really love sharing incredible knowledge and beautiful works of art that moved me with other people; but who else gets so exasperated that: a) It's so hard to find passionate people with depth who take things seriously b) implement all those feelings into a relationship that can or might last.
I love being in love and all the great feelings and experiences that come with it. In a perfect world, I’d find the love of my life and we’d build a relationship that makes it through the hardest times and lasts.
When I was in high school, I got a girlfriend in my freshman year. She wanted to have sex with me. I said no. I was too afraid of the risks (pregnancy/STDs). Even with protection, there's still a small chance that the protection fails, and I was not willing to take the risk to have to raise a kid.
She decided that if she couldn't have sex from me... she'd get it elsewhere. So she cheated on me. And... ended up getting pregnant.
That left such a sour taste in my mouth that I gave up on love for about 5-6 years after that. And I had constant fantasies about killing her. Luckily, those fantasies are gone now.
But I’m genuinely starting to lose hope. I’ve been in so many relationships, all which have ended in either cheating or just feelings fading. I can’t bare the thought of being hurt again because I’ve been hurt SO many times. It’s almost embarrassing for me to talk about because I truly don’t know anyone else who’s been through as many relationship issues as me.
Men that gave up on relationships, what finally made you decide to?
I know that confidence is a huge thing when wanting to date someone, but after trying so long, I just got tired of not having feelings returned. Obviously I shouldn't expect them to be returned, but constantly pushing out of my comfort zone to try to impress a girl with no results is just simply draining, and I just feel a lot more comfortable being myself. I'm an introvert and spend most of my time playing games and doing what I like, but I am healthy and managing fine so I personally don't see anything wrong with my lifestyle as it is.
I haven't given up entirely but just for now. I've just gotten sick of it. I've been rejected a lot but the last one hurt me the most. I (19m) had a crush on this really pretty girl who I've been friends with for a few years. And we were really close. She would hug me, touch me (not in weird places or anything) and we'd even held hands. I really thought she liked me too, so my feeling for her only got stronger with time to the point I was just in love with her. We would spend so much time together. She then invited me to a party and when I arrived, I saw her kissing with another guy. That broke me and ruined the rest of my night. I later found out they had a crush on each other and had been flirting for a while. Maybe it was just me being stupid thinking she would like me back. Idk
Is it normal to give up on love at 22?
I know this sounds very dramatic, but it’s just the way I feel at the moment. I’m a 22 year old female and I just feel like I should accept the idea that nobody will ever like me in a romantic way. Where I live, a lot of people are married or in serious relationships at my age - I’m just dating around with no luck and I’m tired. I’m not beautiful at all so guys don’t approach me when I go out, and if I flirt with someone it doesn’t really work because they’re usually not interested. If a guy ever tries to get to know me it’s because they’re desperate for sex and nothing more.
I can’t say that things are bad for me right now, I study and work in a field that I love and have an active social life, with great friends. However, I worry a lot for the future. What am I going to do when all of my friends are married and I’m the only single one left? I just worry that I’ve ran out of time and that I’ll never find someone who likes me.
I just needed to vent and maybe get a reality check. Have any of you been through this? Is there any hope for me to find someone if I’m ugly?
And I know that I'm only 19 and that's why I haven't given up entirely on it, but bcs I have gotten so anxious and inverted over the last few years I think I'll have an even harder time making friends when I'm out of school.
Thanks for sharing your story. Sorry to hear the girl you loved was not interested in you the same way. And your decision to currently stop thinking about dating is totally understandable and acceptable.
First of all, Happy New Year to everybody on here! Second of all, please forgive me if this question's already been asked; I did my damnedest to use the search function, and as far as I can tell, this question had yet to be asked. Anyways, here's my story: For the longest time, I (29m, soon to be 30m) had been too shy to ask women out, whether in person or online. Actually, a small part of me also didn't give a crap. However, for the most part, I wanted to try being in a relationship. Problem was, I was afraid of being told "sorry, but I already have a boyfriend" or something to that effect. Ergo, I kept my mouth shut and kept carrying on like I didn't care.
I did all right for a few years, until I got this one male friend who tried pressuring me into online dating. All of a sudden, not only did I feel the pressure to have a girlfriend, but having gotten to a point where my anxiety wasn't as severe as it used to be in spite of said pressure, I signed up for a few online dating sites. Problem was, most of the women I'd messaged never got back to me, and the one that did fell silent after I asked her out for coffee.
I am a 30 year old female with a master's degree and a stable career. I get hit on a lot and have no trouble finding dates. But most of the time I end up either hurt or ghosted. After years of this cycle, I think it is about time I give up.
Over the years, I have seen more people talk about just giving up on love and life in general. Girls say they cant find a good man and men say they can find a women in general. It just seems like people are becoming more and more depressed and lonely over the years.
I truly wanted nothing more in my life than to get married and have kids. But after heartbreak after heartbreak and constant disappointment, not to mention societal pressure of being single (I am South Asian), I want to stop looking for love and resign to fate. If anyone here has ever felt this way or has any advise, I would appreciate it.
Concurrent to this, there was a young woman I'd met in person in one of my Meetup groups who I thought was super cute and interesting, so once we'd gotten to know each other better, I decided to ask her out for coffee. She said she was rather busy, but would get back to me about another time. Sadly, she never did. Even worse, another one of my male friends claimed that she was trying to let me down gently. I grew so frustrated with the whole state of affairs that I disabled - not deleted - all of my online dating accounts and vowed never to fall for anyone - woman, man or other - again.
How did your first relationship turn out? How old were you and how long did it last?
I am 14, and I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months. I had a dream we were married and I was thinking about it alot today.
My question is this: do you think it's wrong that I've given up on trying to find love?
So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now, and he finally opened up to me about previous relationships. I had been somewhat curious as I think past relationships can say a lot about us, and what we may learn/take from it to improve moving forward.
Do you discuss your past relationships with your SO and do you ask your SO about theirs?
My bf flat out refuses to discuss his exes. Like 100%. All I know is that he's been with an x number of girls. I find that a bit weird; I'm not suggesting couples sit down and dwell on the past relationships but refusing to talk about it completely? His response is that they're in the past and there is no point talking about them. He doesn't ask about my past relationships either.
I'm curious to read other men's (or women's) opinion on this.
Anyway, so he’s almost 35 and his most recent relationship lasted 1 yr and 8 months, ended in October 2019. He said she was a good girl, had great friends, but his reasoning for the end was that “she was short” and that he just couldn’t see a future with her. I asked how that’s possible after having been with her for so long, and his response was that he probably should have ended it sooner. He seemed really hesitant with his reasoning of this relationship end, and honestly the short thing seemed really shallow and odd.
How do you deal with knowing about a partners history?
Question
Some people care about their partners history some dont. I wish I was the kind that didnt, but I cant. As soon as I start to like someone, the thought of them being with someone else makes me feel physically sick. I've dealt with this before too, and it makes me want to ask questions and pry, even though I have no business knowing and the answer might hurt me. The stupid thing is I have a history too, obviously, and it doesn't seem to bother anyone I've seen. I've been trying to not think about it, and for the most part it works, but when it comes to things like discussing that we should both get STD tested, it forces me to think about it and it hurts. Edit: I have to say that I was originally hesitant to post this, because I was worried about being called all sorts of negative things. Well, the responses have been overwhelmingly supportive and non judgemental, so thank you guys for that. I think this is a symptom of a deeper issue, one that I will be looking into getting help for, thanks.
Edit 2: this thread has really opened my eyes to the fact that this isnt about the actual sex as much as it is about insecurity and mental health in general. I think I'm going to focus on getting that under control, regardless of how things turn out with the person I'm seeing now. Thanks everyone that contributed!
He’s had multiple LTR’s that just haven’t worked out for whatever reason. I certainly am not judging him or his past, but It’s as if he’s seeking something (or someone) that is unattainable, and I kind of feel like this is some what of a red flag. Would you say multiple failed long term relationships are a red flag or not so much?
TL;DR: I gave up on finding love because of various reasons: 1. Being too shy to ask anyone out, 2. Being afraid that somebody I liked might already be taken, and 3. Not having success when I finally mustered up the courage to try asking people out. Is this wrong?
I don't think it really matters how old someone is, it depends on the circumstances you're dealing with at that time of your life though. Everyone has different experiences and they all affect us in plenty of ways.
Do you disclose your past relationships with new partners?
I was just curious if it is normal to tell new partners what type of dating history you have and what you tell them (number of partners you've had sex with or partners that you've been involved with other ways). And would you tell them about serious relationships in the past that went awry?
Talking about past relationships?
I tend to reflect on my past relationships. I had 3 big ones, two that lasted 7 years and a 6mo one that had a big impact on me. I think about what I learned from them and what I would have done differently. I think our major relationships shape us and inform how we are in relationships going forward. I mean, you spend years entwining your life with someone else's and that's got to have an impact right?
Look back on your relationships, what is something that a past boyfriend said that makes you wonder "Why didn't I dump him right then and there?"
I dated a guy, and we hadn't had sex yet and it had been a few weeks since I had had sex with anyone. I walked off mad when we were with his friends and one of them said "Well, someones in a grumpy mood" and I turned around and said "I HAVENT HAD SEX IN A MONTH AND IM ON MY EDGE" (Sex was like my stress killer) and apparently after that, all his friends thought i was a whore and called me a slut behind my back. The night we broke up he said what I had yelled made him feel like he was dating a whore & that the fact that he couldn't take my virginity pissed him off a little. (He was a virgin) After we broke up, I found out that he had showed more than a few of his buds a picture I sent him of me in my undergarments (Well, that really makes me feel like a skank), and that he lied about being a virgin.I guess I'll share mine.. Once, On a movie date with my boyfriend at the time, we walked around passing time until the movie. We went into Zumiez. He spent the whole time asking the store manager (A skinny, tan, pretty women with the tightest dress ever) stupid questions . After we left, he mentioned to my sister and I, "Damn that clerk was soo sexy"
Anyway, I tend to eventually ask, often a couple months in. My go to is "how many times would you say you've been in love?" Because I'm not so much interested in a detailed dating history or how many people they've been with. Sometimes I follow up with "tell me about one of those times? Either one", which I feel like gives some insight without me grilling them on their last gf or ex-wife. I usually find these conversations to be meaningful and bring us closer.
Which of your past relationships changed you the most? What happened?
But some people seem super weirded out or even suspicious that I'd ask. Is this a weird thing to talk about?
EDIT: so by disclose I didn't originally mean (though now that it has been mentioned, seems applicable) details of a past relationship other than, why it ended and how many people they have been with in general. If they've been with other people does the current SO have the right to know how many and why it didn't work out? A good amount of the time when my friends start dating someone new, I'll hear the dating history of this new person, is it strange if your significant other doesn't disclose this?
For example, I am 22 (f) and I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone. It's not that I don't want to, I've had crushes and fallen in love as well. It's just that I needed to focus on loving and accepting myself first. It's really important and a lot of people who don't pay attention to their own needs usually end up heartbroken and get into toxic relationships.
Do you ever think back about past relationships and what you’ve learned about yourself from them?
For me I learned that I cannot rely on someone having to be happy for me to be happy.
So, in conclusion, it's okay to not feel ready. There shouldn't be any pressure or stress for that, for it will happen at the right time and with the right person:D
It's been a while since this happened but since then I haven't had a crush on anyone or felt attracted to someone. I'm not heartbroken anymore I just don't get those feeling anymore.
At this point I'm just more content with my life as it is rather than putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to try to get a girl's attention, and just kind of gave up, but I am happy with my decision.
I know it sounds dramatic, but I used to be so hopeful in finding “true love” but now that part of me just feels dead. I know this sub is about love and all the good things that come with it, which is why I’ve subscribed. I find the smallest amount of hope in this sub with all of these uplifting posts about your guys experience.
I just don't feel like trying anymore.... and I really hate the feeling that a certain guy has been giving me lately that smacks of the attitude that I need to "prove" myself to him, or impress him, for him to want to spend time with me.
Because I have absolutely no hope of finding it. I keep trying to put myself out there but honestly, I have lost interest in being in a relationship. I don't click with anyone, and I keep blaming myself for it. When I see or talk to someone now, no attraction whatsoever. I am unable to fall in love with a person, no matter how nice and caring they are, I feel broken.
I don't have to prove myself to anyone! It's infuriating, but if people can't see our depth or undervalue us, that's not our problem, right? I've been on dates with 3 women over the recent past and they all asked me questions about my dating history. Specifically things like "when was the last time you were in a relationship", "how long was the relationship", "what was the reason why you broke up", and "how many relationships have you had".
Why ask about past relationships/sexual history?
What are you trying to find out? What's to be accomplished by knowing?
What have your past relationships taught you?
Never claim you're going to "marry" someone at age 16, and likewise believe that they meant it as well when they said the same thing. Giving them a ring and saying things like "we'll be together forever" is also quite stupid.
Space and doing your own thing is a good thing; in fact, it is more attractive than holding on to others for dear life.
Quiet and shy girls are not right for me.
Learn to let go. Trying to "get back" a girl who dumped you never works. It also reeks of desperation and not having options.
There are always other fish in the sea.
A girl who makes you laugh is a must.
Its better to hurt a girl and break up with them asap rather than dragging it out and trying to beat around the bush of the breakup. Either way they're gonna get hurt.
Never start dating a girl you hooked up with on a drunken night out of sheer boredom.
Contrary to popular theory and belief, dating virgins is not a bad thing.
Stay away from girls who think you are "the one" within 2 months of dating you and make you meet their sisters and best friends.
And for those of you who are dating, why ask on a first date?
I'm on the side where I think it's pretty darn rude to ask these sort of very personal questions, especially when its so early (they all asked when it was only the 2nd or 3rd date). But since it keeps happening, I want to know what motivates people to ask these types of questions so early on. Any thoughts? I'm trying to understand and not get turned off by it. Girlfriend won’t stop bringing up her past lovers and how she was hurt.
I try to move forward with everything in life. Yeah, I’ve been done wrong and cheated on too but that’s just where you learn your lessons and draw your lines in life. It seems she can’t let go of how she was treated. To be fair, she tells me she loves me and I’m all the matters now and I do believe her. In casual conversations, she’ll mention multiple times a week how she’s been hurt by her ex. It will be something like: “I don’t like these videos because they remind me of my ex.” or She just randomly brings it up and her past. I’m doing my best to give her my heart and everything that I can to change her perspective into focusing on the FUTURE and what we have now, but it seems like nothing will break this cycle of resorting back to her past hurt. It’s starting to feel like nothing I do will measure up to the pain she felt.
I’ve been doing some thinking and I believe that it’s not in the cards for me to find a partner so instead I’ll live for my family (my parents). After they inevitably leave me, idk where I’ll be or if I’ll even be alive. I’m sorry if this is morbid or depressing but I just wanted to voice how I feel to someone who would listen. I feel like I’ve been at least somewhat cursed in this life by someone or something. Anybody else just give up, or want to give up, on love / romance / relationships?
I'm a pretty passionate person, and I really love sharing incredible knowledge and beautiful works of art that moved me with other people; but who else gets so exasperated that: a) It's so hard to find passionate people with depth who take things seriously b) implement all those feelings into a relationship that can or might last.
I love being in love and all the great feelings and experiences that come with it. In a perfect world, I’d find the love of my life and we’d build a relationship that makes it through the hardest times and lasts.
When I was in high school, I got a girlfriend in my freshman year. She wanted to have sex with me. I said no. I was too afraid of the risks (pregnancy/STDs). Even with protection, there's still a small chance that the protection fails, and I was not willing to take the risk to have to raise a kid.
She decided that if she couldn't have sex from me... she'd get it elsewhere. So she cheated on me. And... ended up getting pregnant.
That left such a sour taste in my mouth that I gave up on love for about 5-6 years after that. And I had constant fantasies about killing her. Luckily, those fantasies are gone now.
But I’m genuinely starting to lose hope. I’ve been in so many relationships, all which have ended in either cheating or just feelings fading. I can’t bare the thought of being hurt again because I’ve been hurt SO many times. It’s almost embarrassing for me to talk about because I truly don’t know anyone else who’s been through as many relationship issues as me.
Men that gave up on relationships, what finally made you decide to?
I know that confidence is a huge thing when wanting to date someone, but after trying so long, I just got tired of not having feelings returned. Obviously I shouldn't expect them to be returned, but constantly pushing out of my comfort zone to try to impress a girl with no results is just simply draining, and I just feel a lot more comfortable being myself. I'm an introvert and spend most of my time playing games and doing what I like, but I am healthy and managing fine so I personally don't see anything wrong with my lifestyle as it is.
I haven't given up entirely but just for now. I've just gotten sick of it. I've been rejected a lot but the last one hurt me the most. I (19m) had a crush on this really pretty girl who I've been friends with for a few years. And we were really close. She would hug me, touch me (not in weird places or anything) and we'd even held hands. I really thought she liked me too, so my feeling for her only got stronger with time to the point I was just in love with her. We would spend so much time together. She then invited me to a party and when I arrived, I saw her kissing with another guy. That broke me and ruined the rest of my night. I later found out they had a crush on each other and had been flirting for a while. Maybe it was just me being stupid thinking she would like me back. Idk
Is it normal to give up on love at 22?
I know this sounds very dramatic, but it’s just the way I feel at the moment. I’m a 22 year old female and I just feel like I should accept the idea that nobody will ever like me in a romantic way. Where I live, a lot of people are married or in serious relationships at my age - I’m just dating around with no luck and I’m tired. I’m not beautiful at all so guys don’t approach me when I go out, and if I flirt with someone it doesn’t really work because they’re usually not interested. If a guy ever tries to get to know me it’s because they’re desperate for sex and nothing more.
I can’t say that things are bad for me right now, I study and work in a field that I love and have an active social life, with great friends. However, I worry a lot for the future. What am I going to do when all of my friends are married and I’m the only single one left? I just worry that I’ve ran out of time and that I’ll never find someone who likes me.
I just needed to vent and maybe get a reality check. Have any of you been through this? Is there any hope for me to find someone if I’m ugly?
And I know that I'm only 19 and that's why I haven't given up entirely on it, but bcs I have gotten so anxious and inverted over the last few years I think I'll have an even harder time making friends when I'm out of school.
Thanks for sharing your story. Sorry to hear the girl you loved was not interested in you the same way. And your decision to currently stop thinking about dating is totally understandable and acceptable.
First of all, Happy New Year to everybody on here! Second of all, please forgive me if this question's already been asked; I did my damnedest to use the search function, and as far as I can tell, this question had yet to be asked. Anyways, here's my story: For the longest time, I (29m, soon to be 30m) had been too shy to ask women out, whether in person or online. Actually, a small part of me also didn't give a crap. However, for the most part, I wanted to try being in a relationship. Problem was, I was afraid of being told "sorry, but I already have a boyfriend" or something to that effect. Ergo, I kept my mouth shut and kept carrying on like I didn't care.
I did all right for a few years, until I got this one male friend who tried pressuring me into online dating. All of a sudden, not only did I feel the pressure to have a girlfriend, but having gotten to a point where my anxiety wasn't as severe as it used to be in spite of said pressure, I signed up for a few online dating sites. Problem was, most of the women I'd messaged never got back to me, and the one that did fell silent after I asked her out for coffee.
I am a 30 year old female with a master's degree and a stable career. I get hit on a lot and have no trouble finding dates. But most of the time I end up either hurt or ghosted. After years of this cycle, I think it is about time I give up.
Over the years, I have seen more people talk about just giving up on love and life in general. Girls say they cant find a good man and men say they can find a women in general. It just seems like people are becoming more and more depressed and lonely over the years.
I truly wanted nothing more in my life than to get married and have kids. But after heartbreak after heartbreak and constant disappointment, not to mention societal pressure of being single (I am South Asian), I want to stop looking for love and resign to fate. If anyone here has ever felt this way or has any advise, I would appreciate it.
Concurrent to this, there was a young woman I'd met in person in one of my Meetup groups who I thought was super cute and interesting, so once we'd gotten to know each other better, I decided to ask her out for coffee. She said she was rather busy, but would get back to me about another time. Sadly, she never did. Even worse, another one of my male friends claimed that she was trying to let me down gently. I grew so frustrated with the whole state of affairs that I disabled - not deleted - all of my online dating accounts and vowed never to fall for anyone - woman, man or other - again.
How did your first relationship turn out? How old were you and how long did it last?
I am 14, and I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months. I had a dream we were married and I was thinking about it alot today.
My question is this: do you think it's wrong that I've given up on trying to find love?
So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now, and he finally opened up to me about previous relationships. I had been somewhat curious as I think past relationships can say a lot about us, and what we may learn/take from it to improve moving forward.
Do you discuss your past relationships with your SO and do you ask your SO about theirs?
My bf flat out refuses to discuss his exes. Like 100%. All I know is that he's been with an x number of girls. I find that a bit weird; I'm not suggesting couples sit down and dwell on the past relationships but refusing to talk about it completely? His response is that they're in the past and there is no point talking about them. He doesn't ask about my past relationships either.
I'm curious to read other men's (or women's) opinion on this.
Anyway, so he’s almost 35 and his most recent relationship lasted 1 yr and 8 months, ended in October 2019. He said she was a good girl, had great friends, but his reasoning for the end was that “she was short” and that he just couldn’t see a future with her. I asked how that’s possible after having been with her for so long, and his response was that he probably should have ended it sooner. He seemed really hesitant with his reasoning of this relationship end, and honestly the short thing seemed really shallow and odd.
How do you deal with knowing about a partners history?
Question
Some people care about their partners history some dont. I wish I was the kind that didnt, but I cant. As soon as I start to like someone, the thought of them being with someone else makes me feel physically sick. I've dealt with this before too, and it makes me want to ask questions and pry, even though I have no business knowing and the answer might hurt me. The stupid thing is I have a history too, obviously, and it doesn't seem to bother anyone I've seen. I've been trying to not think about it, and for the most part it works, but when it comes to things like discussing that we should both get STD tested, it forces me to think about it and it hurts. Edit: I have to say that I was originally hesitant to post this, because I was worried about being called all sorts of negative things. Well, the responses have been overwhelmingly supportive and non judgemental, so thank you guys for that. I think this is a symptom of a deeper issue, one that I will be looking into getting help for, thanks.
Edit 2: this thread has really opened my eyes to the fact that this isnt about the actual sex as much as it is about insecurity and mental health in general. I think I'm going to focus on getting that under control, regardless of how things turn out with the person I'm seeing now. Thanks everyone that contributed!
He’s had multiple LTR’s that just haven’t worked out for whatever reason. I certainly am not judging him or his past, but It’s as if he’s seeking something (or someone) that is unattainable, and I kind of feel like this is some what of a red flag. Would you say multiple failed long term relationships are a red flag or not so much?
TL;DR: I gave up on finding love because of various reasons: 1. Being too shy to ask anyone out, 2. Being afraid that somebody I liked might already be taken, and 3. Not having success when I finally mustered up the courage to try asking people out. Is this wrong?
I don't think it really matters how old someone is, it depends on the circumstances you're dealing with at that time of your life though. Everyone has different experiences and they all affect us in plenty of ways.
Do you disclose your past relationships with new partners?
I was just curious if it is normal to tell new partners what type of dating history you have and what you tell them (number of partners you've had sex with or partners that you've been involved with other ways). And would you tell them about serious relationships in the past that went awry?
Talking about past relationships?
I tend to reflect on my past relationships. I had 3 big ones, two that lasted 7 years and a 6mo one that had a big impact on me. I think about what I learned from them and what I would have done differently. I think our major relationships shape us and inform how we are in relationships going forward. I mean, you spend years entwining your life with someone else's and that's got to have an impact right?
Look back on your relationships, what is something that a past boyfriend said that makes you wonder "Why didn't I dump him right then and there?"
I dated a guy, and we hadn't had sex yet and it had been a few weeks since I had had sex with anyone. I walked off mad when we were with his friends and one of them said "Well, someones in a grumpy mood" and I turned around and said "I HAVENT HAD SEX IN A MONTH AND IM ON MY EDGE" (Sex was like my stress killer) and apparently after that, all his friends thought i was a whore and called me a slut behind my back. The night we broke up he said what I had yelled made him feel like he was dating a whore & that the fact that he couldn't take my virginity pissed him off a little. (He was a virgin) After we broke up, I found out that he had showed more than a few of his buds a picture I sent him of me in my undergarments (Well, that really makes me feel like a skank), and that he lied about being a virgin.I guess I'll share mine.. Once, On a movie date with my boyfriend at the time, we walked around passing time until the movie. We went into Zumiez. He spent the whole time asking the store manager (A skinny, tan, pretty women with the tightest dress ever) stupid questions . After we left, he mentioned to my sister and I, "Damn that clerk was soo sexy"
Anyway, I tend to eventually ask, often a couple months in. My go to is "how many times would you say you've been in love?" Because I'm not so much interested in a detailed dating history or how many people they've been with. Sometimes I follow up with "tell me about one of those times? Either one", which I feel like gives some insight without me grilling them on their last gf or ex-wife. I usually find these conversations to be meaningful and bring us closer.
Which of your past relationships changed you the most? What happened?
But some people seem super weirded out or even suspicious that I'd ask. Is this a weird thing to talk about?
EDIT: so by disclose I didn't originally mean (though now that it has been mentioned, seems applicable) details of a past relationship other than, why it ended and how many people they have been with in general. If they've been with other people does the current SO have the right to know how many and why it didn't work out? A good amount of the time when my friends start dating someone new, I'll hear the dating history of this new person, is it strange if your significant other doesn't disclose this?
For example, I am 22 (f) and I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone. It's not that I don't want to, I've had crushes and fallen in love as well. It's just that I needed to focus on loving and accepting myself first. It's really important and a lot of people who don't pay attention to their own needs usually end up heartbroken and get into toxic relationships.
Do you ever think back about past relationships and what you’ve learned about yourself from them?
For me I learned that I cannot rely on someone having to be happy for me to be happy.
So, in conclusion, it's okay to not feel ready. There shouldn't be any pressure or stress for that, for it will happen at the right time and with the right person:D
It's been a while since this happened but since then I haven't had a crush on anyone or felt attracted to someone. I'm not heartbroken anymore I just don't get those feeling anymore.
At this point I'm just more content with my life as it is rather than putting myself in uncomfortable situations just to try to get a girl's attention, and just kind of gave up, but I am happy with my decision.
I know it sounds dramatic, but I used to be so hopeful in finding “true love” but now that part of me just feels dead. I know this sub is about love and all the good things that come with it, which is why I’ve subscribed. I find the smallest amount of hope in this sub with all of these uplifting posts about your guys experience.
I just don't feel like trying anymore.... and I really hate the feeling that a certain guy has been giving me lately that smacks of the attitude that I need to "prove" myself to him, or impress him, for him to want to spend time with me.
Because I have absolutely no hope of finding it. I keep trying to put myself out there but honestly, I have lost interest in being in a relationship. I don't click with anyone, and I keep blaming myself for it. When I see or talk to someone now, no attraction whatsoever. I am unable to fall in love with a person, no matter how nice and caring they are, I feel broken.
I don't have to prove myself to anyone! It's infuriating, but if people can't see our depth or undervalue us, that's not our problem, right? I've been on dates with 3 women over the recent past and they all asked me questions about my dating history. Specifically things like "when was the last time you were in a relationship", "how long was the relationship", "what was the reason why you broke up", and "how many relationships have you had".
Why ask about past relationships/sexual history?
What are you trying to find out? What's to be accomplished by knowing?
What have your past relationships taught you?
Never claim you're going to "marry" someone at age 16, and likewise believe that they meant it as well when they said the same thing. Giving them a ring and saying things like "we'll be together forever" is also quite stupid.
Space and doing your own thing is a good thing; in fact, it is more attractive than holding on to others for dear life.
Quiet and shy girls are not right for me.
Learn to let go. Trying to "get back" a girl who dumped you never works. It also reeks of desperation and not having options.
There are always other fish in the sea.
A girl who makes you laugh is a must.
Its better to hurt a girl and break up with them asap rather than dragging it out and trying to beat around the bush of the breakup. Either way they're gonna get hurt.
Never start dating a girl you hooked up with on a drunken night out of sheer boredom.
Contrary to popular theory and belief, dating virgins is not a bad thing.
Stay away from girls who think you are "the one" within 2 months of dating you and make you meet their sisters and best friends.
And for those of you who are dating, why ask on a first date?
I'm on the side where I think it's pretty darn rude to ask these sort of very personal questions, especially when its so early (they all asked when it was only the 2nd or 3rd date). But since it keeps happening, I want to know what motivates people to ask these types of questions so early on. Any thoughts? I'm trying to understand and not get turned off by it. Girlfriend won’t stop bringing up her past lovers and how she was hurt.
I try to move forward with everything in life. Yeah, I’ve been done wrong and cheated on too but that’s just where you learn your lessons and draw your lines in life. It seems she can’t let go of how she was treated. To be fair, she tells me she loves me and I’m all the matters now and I do believe her. In casual conversations, she’ll mention multiple times a week how she’s been hurt by her ex. It will be something like: “I don’t like these videos because they remind me of my ex.” or She just randomly brings it up and her past. I’m doing my best to give her my heart and everything that I can to change her perspective into focusing on the FUTURE and what we have now, but it seems like nothing will break this cycle of resorting back to her past hurt. It’s starting to feel like nothing I do will measure up to the pain she felt.
