I want a divorce

I have decided I’m done. I just can’t anymore. After 12 years married and 15 years together and knowing each other for over 20 years. And I’ve already had one divorce in my early 20s. I’m just a failure. And I won’t even do this until my kids are adults because I know it will still hurt them as adults but I won’t take away the last few years of childhood from them so I have to suck it up and pretend to be happy. And don’t worry we don’t fight in front of them and when we do fight we are very silent so the kids think all is well and it will stay that way. We are just growing farther apart in all aspects lately and I don’t even want to be around him. Im really upset so I’m not really looking for advice or anything like that I’m just venting and here is a great place to do that. I’m just sooo done and honestly if he wants to be honest with himself I think he is too.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Casheyane · 31-35, F

Maybe take a vacation together. And you know what, actually, fight.
Give both yourselves chances to figure out who you are aside from being parents to kids. The reality is, you're draining out of love because you keep believing you have to live for other people. While that is sacrificial, it does not have to be everything.

It is very easy to lose that mindset and lose yourself in the process of caring for another the way you think is right. I would know. My life is a testament of that and I am literally locked in my room right now, wanting to scream into the void. I don't know whether to leave somewhere far, or really leave, leave as in out of the country and let these people care for themselves.
But see the thing about people we love is that they make us crazy, but we want to see them live their best lives.

The reality is we have to learn how to give ourselves the kind of love we need too. Losing that, that is when we feel so very lost and out of touch.

BuzzedLightyear · 61-69

@Casheyane she said not looking for advice but here your are with all of your wisdom

redredred · M

@Casheyane a divorce is not a failure, it’s a move in the right direction

SWfan · 41-45, M

@Casheyane that's an excellent idea.