Wife and I just had a serious talk about the state of our marriage
She asked the right question this time: am I happy with her? I was honest and told her no, I’m not. I was honest about how I feel too. That I feel taken for granted by her and hate how disrespectful she behaves towards me, that it gets to the point where I don’t think she really loves me back. I said if she really does, then I would like for her to do something about these issues of hers and get therapy (for the millionth fucking time). Because, in spite of my unhappiness with her, I do still love her and would like for this marriage to work, but told her straight up, that it’s not going to if it stays like this.
She also told me things that I do that she doesn’t like either, namely my drinking. She feels I should get help for that again and maybe I should. But I said I would like for her to try getting help for herself first. I reminded her that I already tried, even not that long ago, whereas she has not once tried doing anything to fix her behavior, even when she said she would. I told her I would really like her to finally do so this time, because this was going on even when I stayed sober for a year before I relapsed. My drinking is a problem, but she’s kidding herself if she thinks it’s the overarching problem.
But she also mentioned that, while she still doesn’t have any problems with Desmond, she would like for me and her to do something together on weekends sometimes and doesn’t like how these past few weekends, I’ve just been spending them with him without asking her. It’s been like that because I was upset with her after that bad fight we had not long ago, but at the same time, that’s completely fair. I wouldn’t want to make a regular thing out of that to where she’s feeling neglected. I don’t want to turn him into a problem in my marriage. I do love spending time with him, but I obviously, I need to work on finding a middle ground between being with him and making quality time with her.
She says she’s going to be committed to seeking therapy. I didn’t convey this to her because I didn’t feel it would help the situation, but I do still have my doubts as to whether or not she will follow through with it, because she has told me this plenty of times before, to where she’s tearfully spilling her guts to me swearing she will get help, only for her to not do shit. I guess only time will tell if she proves me wrong this time. For the sake of our marriage, hope she does.
She also told me things that I do that she doesn’t like either, namely my drinking. She feels I should get help for that again and maybe I should. But I said I would like for her to try getting help for herself first. I reminded her that I already tried, even not that long ago, whereas she has not once tried doing anything to fix her behavior, even when she said she would. I told her I would really like her to finally do so this time, because this was going on even when I stayed sober for a year before I relapsed. My drinking is a problem, but she’s kidding herself if she thinks it’s the overarching problem.
But she also mentioned that, while she still doesn’t have any problems with Desmond, she would like for me and her to do something together on weekends sometimes and doesn’t like how these past few weekends, I’ve just been spending them with him without asking her. It’s been like that because I was upset with her after that bad fight we had not long ago, but at the same time, that’s completely fair. I wouldn’t want to make a regular thing out of that to where she’s feeling neglected. I don’t want to turn him into a problem in my marriage. I do love spending time with him, but I obviously, I need to work on finding a middle ground between being with him and making quality time with her.
She says she’s going to be committed to seeking therapy. I didn’t convey this to her because I didn’t feel it would help the situation, but I do still have my doubts as to whether or not she will follow through with it, because she has told me this plenty of times before, to where she’s tearfully spilling her guts to me swearing she will get help, only for her to not do shit. I guess only time will tell if she proves me wrong this time. For the sake of our marriage, hope she does.
