Who cares???

I'm lonely right now because she's gone to sleep and I've got no customers. It's weird, when I'm talking to her I feel... idk, normal? Like I'm not fundamentally repulsive to women, but also like there is no depression or suicidal thoughts or anything negative at all - it's just us, and I can imagine a life with her. I know it's way too early to be imagining being together forever, and that's not what I'm referring to anyway; rather, I can imagine and have desire to go beyond what's immediately in front of me time-wise. I even get stupid thoughts like kids, but that's at best so far in the future that it's effectively impossible.

I don't know if she'll see this, or if anyone else will, but I'll be fine.

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PinkMoon · 26-30, F

Dude imagining a future with someone is completely natural and not something you should feel ashamed of. Just don't spend too much time focusing on that imagined future otherwise it can take focus from the importance of being in the moment with her in the present. Fall in love with the person and not the fantasy of the future because non of us are guaranteed a future.

Word of caution, you need to work on independently building your self-worth because buddy it's in the shitter. Being with someone as self-deprecating, cynical, and insecure as you are is bound to be exhausting. You'll end up depending on her to feel good about yourself and that's a recipe for an unhealthy relationship. Confidence and self-esteem are very attractive.

KiwiDan · 31-35, M

@PinkMoon @PinkMoon I'm not ashamed of it, just unfamiliar with it. If love happens then it happens, but if not we can still stay friends. I'm working on the self-esteem though, little by little.

midnightrose · F

Glad you're in a good place right now. Seeing yourself beyond is something.

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