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why did you stay?

people provide all manner of reasons
they need to justify their rationale
believe me I have heard them all before
I researched to find the reasons
I feel they are all excuses
built upon fear...all kinds of fears
I stay for the kids...seriously?
your kids see how dysfunctional it is
you are teaching them to role model
is that what you really want
to teach them what love is NOT
a long-term lesson that will stick
unfortunately
I stay because of all the time invested
I stay because everything else is great
time invested means nothing really
you have not learnt the real lesson
everything is not intimacy nor sex nor both
you are being short-changed
as you grow older your resentment builds
you grow older faster because of unhappiness
everyone needs human touch
you are not immune to that fact
pour your presence into hobbies, exercise
it will damage your psyche, your self-worth
you have choices all your life
your vows were said in good faith
if you knew it would be sexless
tell me you would have still married them
I think you know the answer now
after all these years and all the tears and all
you stay because you fear the unknown
you stay because that person is the devil you know
you have no idea how much happiness can still flow
you have no idea of your beauty inward and outward
you may stay in coldness and freeze to death
or
you may decide to love yourself enough to pack up
pick up and leave
I did it finally at age 51
let me tell you this
never, ever regretted divorcing him
just regret the years wasted
trying to fix something unfixable
of course you may stay, it is your life
you decide whether to barely exist or to live
I live happily and I pour my love into my world
live and learn is my motto
I wish you peace and love and everything blessed
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NewRaven · 51-55, F
@PoetryNEmotion, I could have written this, except I was 45. Way too many years wasted, it took a long time to figure out that i deserved to be happy too…. Way too long to figure out who I was, and undo the psyche damage. My first few nights in my mostly empty new apartment were some of the happiest in my life, and in my youngest three kids’ lives. I’m glad you escaped.
@NewRaven Raven, I divorced the cold liar when I was 51. I, too, regretted waiting so long. Thank goodness you figured out freedom was the best way to love yourself and your kids. I never ever regretted leaving. Best wishes for the best life! You are a courageous woman and mother!
Coldplay · 61-69, M
@NewRaven I’m envious…I always wonder about the first few nights of freedom…
@Coldplay You could be free. It is a choice.
@NewRaven You must move forward. The past teaches us. Focus on the here and the now. I am so proud of you. You did yourself right. Blessings.
Coldplay · 61-69, M
@PoetryNEmotion yes I do know that.