Have you or a partner ever been made redundant? And how did you navigate it?

My partner has been made redundant. Initially I tried to stay positive to get him focused to start accepting things and looking for other work. Meanwhile his solicitors fought his case for the redundancy package.
It was a shock to us both we just got back from holiday and found out that we're pregnant.

Life that was on a high came crashing down. (at least for me) he reassures me he's fine as he's still employed until it's settled.

He's making use of his time off, playing computer games, baking and catching up with old friends.

But in the month I've noticed his morale and self discipline go out the window.

He's gained weight, has lost some confidence and just seems very unsure.

I'm doing my best to remain positive but with everything else going on inside me, I'm worried that I may say the wrong thing.

I love him and care for him but all of this is completely new to us.

Any advice or words of comfort would really help right now.

Thank you for reading.

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Dignaga

Just a couple? I've seen what happens to a entire region when they are suddenly ruled redundant by a president:

The United States Steel Industry went into a talespin shortly after my stepfather left the airforce and took us home with him to the Ohio Valley. We were often ranked in the top 50 US communities to live in the United States, a democratic union stronghold, and then suddenly the town's population was halved, and while that happened drugs came in. All the kids at my bus stop except me ended up in jail, and eventually every kid in the neighborhood except one other had a felony. My best friend in elementry school broke into a party and broke a bottle and cut a guy's eye out in middle school. If I see anyguy I grew up with walking around, I avoid them, bad people.

The wives all had a split personality. They'd be loving wives to their husbands when confronting politicians and the media and top execa, but you'ld see the same women flip out on their unemployed husbands screaming they were losers. These women turned to drugs. They got divorced. They caused the divorces in EVERY case. The ones who immediately moved away may of faired better, I don't know. But if you stuck around, your woman's angst and hatred at their sudden loss of lifestyle would turn and ruin the relationship. Thing is none of these women were starving, or really poor by real third world standards, it was all up in their heads. Had they been better women, they could of made it work out. Women by instinct are driven to ruin their families lives at the sign of financial hardship. Their sons all ended up in jail.

White flight then took root, alot of black people from Baltimore moved in. There were after a while a sort of low throttle race war, never any big event, just black baltimore racists vs local white racists fighting and running from one another. Chicago gangs moved in to sell drugs and weapons in the area. I almost got shot once.

When the sisters of all the jailed white guys grew up, the attractive ones immediately left, and the ugly or fat ones stayed. They all coupled with the blacks, and all have addictions. The ones who didn't seemed to of drifted away or died of overdoses, or haven't completed their prison sentences yet.

The ability of a family unit to survive depends greatly on the sanity of a woman, and the vast majority of women are not up to task. Their will blame everyone, and especially their husbands in the end. Their children will suffer for it, and no doubt that poverty and torment is carried multiple generations.

My best recommendation is to clamp down on every feminine instinct, don't flip out on him. Help him look for work. Expect him to go into depression if it doesn't immediately work out, and if he leaves for a while to find work don't succumb to your loneliness and Dear John him. A woman must reject her instincts. They are in place in women to get a caveman out of the cave to start looking for game again. Finding a stable job that is able to support a family isn't solved that easily. Women need to be more sophisticated. Very few are. I grew up in that awful, godforsaken aftermath. Men are fairly predictable with their depression phase. It will pass. Don't overdo it on probing him to find something if he feels too helpless in the beginning. He'll come out of it. If he just can't find anything, mortgage or not, I suggest moving.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@Dignaga sorry I didn't respond to you initially.
Reading it made me incredibly emotional.

It's heartbreaking to see and more so to live through.
Complete and utter disarray.

I think this is kind of reflected in the UK atm. I always get slated on the Internet for this type of opinion, but the 12 years of the financial crash, recession, austerity, cost of living crisis and inflation alongside gentrification. Has pretty much caused a similar effect on a grander scale.
There are pockets of society in nearly every part of the country some larger than others that are dealing with this shift in mentality/behaviour.
We often accredit social media for the better reporting of crime and the coverage on poverty but actually, you see it every day.

Homelessness is there right on your door step. Alongside the people high on various drugs.

As for my partner. I'm not putting any stress on him at all.
I had high BP initially in my pregnancy so my focus has been and will only be on maintaining my health. In this respect I have to be selfish for the baby.
We don't currently live together, that's the plan once baby arrives, so in the meantime that gives him space to set things up and deal with his emotions and job search. On the days he comes to spend time with me and bump. It's filled with dog walks and a normal living/working routine. I set him mini tasks to help me, that way he can have something to focus on and I can make a positive fuss once I'm back home. I still try and share as many tasks as my body will allow. So when he's doing the evening dog walk, I start dinner.
I wash up mostly as I go like normal so he only has to wash up the dishes we use and glasses.
I never want him to feel put upon. And I don't either. We talk a lot and I do try my hardest to just keep things normal.

My job is supportive (are aware of his redundancy) and I'm working for as long as I can. My working hours means, I finish at 2pm, so out of respect to them and their kindness. I try to make my appointments for after I finish my shifts to ensure the least disruption to the day-we've also had a few leavers and redundancies.
They will give me a year off with staggered pay. That's the agreement due to the current circumstances.

I see he's put on some weight and I also see he has moments of deep thought but I try not to prod too much.
I ask him if he's OK but I try to let him go through it.
I'm not perfect and neither is he. As a family we discuss work and the trials we have endured sometimes, so it allows him the opportunity to reflect.
I reassure him his redundancy although it may feel like it. Isn't anything personal to him.
He has now started to agree that this is the case and it's helping him, I think to establish and maintain a level of positivity, so he is going to interviews.
❤🙏🏾