Can you ever really know your long term partner?

I’m right at the “boom time” of divorces in my peer group. People’s stories are fascinating. Secret drug habits, gambling debts and of course cheating. I’m not talking about myself here. I don’t think I’m in the same boat, but how would you ever know?

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DunningKruger · 61-69, M

I don't think it's possible to ever know anyone beyond a certain depth, especially in a marriage. The irony is that maintaining a functional and successful marriage often requires that we hide a lot of ourselves from the people we're supposed to be closest to. I suppose there are people who are fortunate enough to be satisfied and content to be in a relationship with someone with whom they share absolute and complete transparency, but I've never met them.

Notladylike

@DunningKruger Yes I agree with that too. Sometimes the less you ask the happier things are in a marriage. Full transparency would make for a pretty boring life I’d imagine.

DunningKruger · 61-69, M

@Notladylike Boring might be the best possible outcome. More often than not, it would likely cause abject misery.