I Have No Problem With Interacial Relationships

It says you need to go back to school and do whatever it takes to become a psychotherapist or psychiatric social worker. Because this is not the role of a lover, mate or life partner.

In my 74 years, I have never seen a situation like this work out well in the long run for people of any race or background and, for people like you who have a lot of love and loyalty to give, it is, in every sense, a [i]long[/i] run.

Please do not use up a good chunk of your life working to change someone, to turn him from a very flawed human being into a fixer upper project.

You think in psychological terms, so become a professional and help people who come to you for just that purpose, and then you'll get paid and be respected for it.

My niece is like this. This is a state of mind that seems to affect the good hearted. She is on her second divorce now and has wasted 23 years of her adult life doing this sort of thing...so far. She has just taken on a well intentioned lover who is an alcoholic and who suffers from low self-esteem plus schizoaffective disorder. She is thrilled at the chance to help him. They are currently living where her last husband put her, and left her and her child, on the street in a trailer. She is proud of her sincere devotion and desire to dedicate herself to helping her new man. Her 12 year old daughter has a lot of problems (for several reasons including autism) but my niece is dedicated to helping her as well.

Today she is going to court to handle a suspension of her driver's license because she failed to get insurance due to being chronically out of work and living hand to mouth on the streets. She has been too busy helping her lover and her daughter to get a job, or to get the formal education to qualify for a decent job. By the way, she is well mannered, the sweetest, kindest person in the world with a gentle, witty sense of humor, no bad habits, a decent self-education, and an IQ in the range of genius. But she is dedicated to helping others to straighten out their problems and believes she is a good and wise person to place it above everything else in her life including her own well being. She is 43 years old.

Please, rethink this. You have a gift. You care. You really want to help. Do something constructive with your interest in helping people improve themselves and their lives. Don't take on a lover as a long term fixer up project. He is in courtship mode now and may even believe himself as he promises to change major parts of his behavior patterns and overturn his emotional deficiencies. It won't last.

Please be good to yourself, and to all those other people out there in your potential future, people you may actually be able to help. They need you more than he does or ever will. And you deserve to be good to yourself as well.