Are you the one who always wanted to marry and finally got married?

@Captain what can you do about it?

@Donotfolowme Nothing really. I just try and keep here in the manner that she would like to become accustomed to but it gets harder as I get older. Meanwhile I come on here and other chat platforms to find things that make me smile or complements that make me feel better about myself. I cannot remember the last time she said anything positive about me - but yesterday I received at east 3 criticisms and 2 commands, which I guess is a typical day.

@Captain and why exactly has she become like this? Once upon a time she was all in love and passionate about everything to do with you so how & why is it like this?

@Donotfolowme I think it all started to go wrong even before the wedding when she and her mum started to turn it into a show off affair about them and how wonderful they were because they were singers and the attitude that as I was only an Engineer in a factory I was somehow inferior (although I am the Cambridge graduate and have always been the big earner). Then it was how I was somehow holding bakc her sining career even though I took her to every concert I could. Then it was that I had to compete in the present giving department with he brother-in-law who was an accountant. Then when she kept being rejected at audtions it was somehow my fault for not supporting her ?? Thne the kids came loang and it was how we had to send them to public schools etc etc even though we did not have the means. Then it was somehow my fault that she had to take up singing and piano teaching which she said would stop her getting parts even though she had virtually ceased to do auditions once we had kids. Then the sex just stopped because she let herself go and I just didnt find her attractive any more. IN the last few years she has smartened up a bit - but I’ll be honest. In htink we are only still together because she cant afford to leave and she’s wating for my mother and father to die off so she can get her hands on part of the inheritance. At least she’s finally come to accept that she needs to sell of all the junk shes acquired in our house so we can down size - but to be honest once the house is decluttered Id rather like to find a way of staying in it - it would become a nice place to live in again. DO you get the picture yet ??

@Captain oh wow!!! That's a lot I wouldn't marry that kind of a person to begin with let alone starting a family.
I am sorry but she showed her real self off to you in the beginning and that red flag should have been enough. Marrying often makes it hard to get out and go away that's why marriage should happen when you are 100% sure of the person.

@Donotfolowme I was getting older and I thought it was what everyone wanted for me and I wasnt going to do anythign else with my life. It was kind of a blind date at my brothers stag do - which was combined with my sister in laws hen party - which is when we were introduced. Once the first date started and I was in it, I felt I couldn't really get out of it - but of course I should have done. Id have been rich - self indulged with a few uncompromising lovers along the way and possibly dead from lack of self care by now but I wouldn't be trapped in this cage. She would probably have married someone worse than me and been even more unsatisfied - I dont even know if that owuld have been a good outcome anymore ?? I just know I would have led a fuller life.