What did your first relationship feel like?
How much did you change after your first relationship?
How intense was your first relationship? How did your first relationship change you? What did you learn / realize?
For many, the first relationship is a very intense experience, a wake up call. What is your experience? What did you get to know through it? How does it affect you today? How clueless were you during your first relationship? What did you do? Or what didn't you do? What did you wish you knew before getting into your first relationship?
I'm 18. I recently met a girl. It's a little early to call it at this moment, but it legitimately seems like something might actually develop between us. Since I don't have experience with these sorts of things, I thought I'd ask you guys here for some thoughts. How did you handle your first relationship? Any interesting stories or anecdotes are welcome! I'd like to hear about your experiences, whatever they may be. What do you wish you knew about dating before you entered your first relationship? How did your first relationship turn out? How old were you and how long did it last?
I am 14, and I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months. I had a dream we were married and I was thinking about it alot today. How did your first relationship affect your ideas and values regarding love and romance? Guys who had their first relationship in their 20s, what did you find surprising, and what skills/knowledge did it take a while to learn? How did your first serious relationship end and how did you handle it? At what age should you have your first relationship? When was yours and how long did it last? Going into my first relationship. Why am I terrified?
I'm a 19 year old girl in college and I've started dating someone for the first time. Things are pretty casual right now and going well, but for some reason, I'm absolutely terrified of going forward.
People who’s first relationship was a very long term relationship, what did you think was normal that turned out to be unusual once you started seeing other people? I've never been much of a risk-taker in my life (in fact, I'm always cautious as hell, usually to a fault). I don't really know what I'm afraid of. I just have this nagging fear in the back of my mind that keeps me from wanting to take the relationship further. Is this just something everyone learns to get over in their first relationship? I don't really know what to think of all this. I was 16, she was a really sweet girl. She had to be less experienced than even I was. We dated VERY seriously for 2 years. In the end, she was too deferential an passive for me to really respect her, and I was such an absent minded boyfriend. I think that drove her away. She ended up breaking up with me a few months into college. No hard feelings at all, I was bitter at the time but I think it was mainly a bruised ego. It was a totally healthy as far teenage relationships go, but looking at it with a lot of distance, I idealized her into something she wasn't and looked down on her when she couldn't live up to.
It's a long and convoluted story. There's me, my then-girlfriend (we'll call her Sally), her friend (we'll call her Susan), my friend (we'll call him Bill) and his friend (we'll call him Bob). Susan and Sally are 2500 miles away from me, Bill and Bob. So, Bill and Bob have been close friends for a long time. I meet Bill in 9th grade, I was 13 at the time. Years earlier, Bob had met Susan on omegle, and they had become Facebook friends (back when you could have legitimate conversation on omegle, I guess). Bill and I started working on a pretty big art project, and were recruiting some other people for it, so Bill asks Bob and Bob asks Susan, and I come into contact with Sally. tl;dr: Everything changed when the fire nation attacked
We were both 15 or so I think (started at the beginning of the summer after my freshman year of high school), and I think she was an ISTP. We actually lasted 9 months or so, but the last 2 were basically us barely talking but me not knowing enough to realize I should either do something about it or break up with her, and finally she broke up with me. Fast forward to my senior year, I'm best friends with the guy (INTJ I think) who ended up dating her next (still dating her by that time), and eventually without realizing it he reveals that she was flirting with him pretty constantly and heavily for almost half the time me and her were dating (nothing physical, but spending lots of time together, her telling him she had no boyfriend and them being pretty romantic with each other). My friend didn't see any problem with that and long story short we don't talk anymore (for that and other reasons). Last I've heard of her, my old friend broke up with her because he drew the line at her cheating on him by having sex with another girl (as far as I'm aware she's straight and just did it for the drugs) in order to get coke (don't know the full details, that's all I heard).
I was 13, she was a girl in my school that somehow ended up texting with me and being the introvert and somewhat socially awkward IRL and inexperienced with girls it was a jackpot in the sense that I could communicate with her without seeming like a total idiot. We were together for a year or so, seeing her almost every day.
A few things to note about her before I begin my story: Very shy and timid, but we have gotten close to a point where she does EVERYTHING comfortably around me. Not a gold digger, we both make a good salary. Very hard and honest worker. As much as she complains about me, I know she loves me very much. Has depression and anxiety.
Since it's my first relationship, I don't have any past experience to compare it to, so I would like to know what I am doing wrong.
Lately, she has been telling me how she doesn't love me as much anymore and that she isn't sexually attracted to me, and when I asked her why she said I use to make her gifts and would always want to spend time with her and make her feel loved, but on the flip side she is always talking about wanting to get married and have kids. This was also during the height of covid so we weren't able to go out often. I don't want to leave her and even if I do, I'll feel guilty because she said I'd be wasting her "prime" away and that all her friends were getting married at this age.
Long story short, she asked me to move in with her after 2-3 months of dating because I was planning to move out of state for work and she wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. Fast forward 1 year I am still living with her because my company allows me to work from home. She however has a 7 to 8 pm job (3-4 times per week) so she has to wake up at 5am and sleep by 9pm.
I am an avid gamer so 9 pm is way too early for me but, I would always get into bed with her and cuddle her to sleep on the days she had work. Now I do enjoy cuddling with her, but I also don't want to just lay there for 30+min spooning her until she falls asleep, so about a couple of months ago, I started scrolling through my phone while cuddling her and she doesn't like that. She says she wants full attention while cuddling. She needs at least 8 hours of sleep (more around 10 when I first met her) while I only need about 6 so am I wrong to think that it is unfair to at least allow myself to scroll through my phone while cuddling her to sleep? I have been doing this consistently since day one.
I also wake up every morning with her, make her breakfast, pack her lunch, and kiss her goodbye. I have been consistent with that every workday (except for 2 maybe 3 times tops. I didn't because I was too excused). She is a very diligent worker who puts work over herself and even though I hate that idea, she's just too busy for a lunch break. I do respect her grind and I try to support her in every way possible which would include putting all my tasks aside when she comes home to spend more time with her and have dinner ready for her. Whenever I am cooking, I would keep her in mind and make her food that I'd think she would enjoy. Responsibilities: Cleaning: Since I work from home, I'd say I clean the house about 70% of the time and dish 90% of the time. I don't think she realizes how dirty the house can get and how often I clean.
For laundry, I have a washer and dryer at my parent's house so when it comes time to wash, we would go over together, and I'd do all the washing and drying. Then we bring it back and fold the clothes together (most of the time).
As far as cooking goes: We agreed that she would cook on the days she is off (usually 3-4 times per week). On the days she does have work, I would prep the meals. Recently she became unhappy about it because she wanted me to cook with her on her days off, but I thought it was unfair because we had agreed that she would cook, and I would wash the dishes. Gifting: She says I don't make her or get her gifts anymore. My excuse was that since moving in with her, there were a lot more responsibilities that I had to pick up, and even though I may have downtime during work hours, I don't want to use that time to make gifts because I put in time and effort making a gift so it can definitely break my thought process. (I have given her in total: 6 personal gifts which held meaning). Her only gift to me was a power point presentation telling me how much she loved me. Although I appreciated it very much. I didn't have the heart to ask her why half the PowerPoint was just on how handsome I am even though she knows that I don't really care about my appearance. In response, she asked for an essay about why I love her. I'd admit I gave it to her very late (months) and this was because I was writing it on and off thinking of all the reasons why I love her. When I was done, I felt like I disappointed her and she said my essay sounded like I was trying to promote her or listing her. I was disappointed because although I may not have spent hours writing, I sure spent hours thinking it through. Income: We split rent and food 50/50 she pays for internet herself and gas. We never really talked about splitting internet bills since she does make about 10k more than me. I'm also a very avid saver so I would always find the best discounts on products and groceries, so I feel like that makes up for it too. Almost all of the time I'm using her car, it is for groceries/laundry, or we go out to eat.
Our budget total for eating out and grocery is $360 per month (at least we try to keep it in that range, but it almost always goes over). Some may think this is low, but when visiting home, my grandparents would give me a lot of rice and meat to take home ( I would visit home 2-3 days per week).
What we do together: On her days off, we mostly watch shows, play video games and go grocery shopping. She doesn't like it when I play video games without her. Some nights we would get takeout (mostly sushi and tacos cause that's her favorite).
I am a very avid saver. I don't like to eat out because it is too costly, I rather cook everything at home. I don't shop very much because since I work from home there is no need to dress to impress. My gf on the other hand likes to order takeout or eat out and she doesn't like it when I don't order with her since she doesn't like eating alone (again we do split meals 50/50). We do eat out about once per month, but mostly we order takeout and eat at home. She wants to go out but whenever I ask her where she wants to go, she just shrugs. I genuinely feel that I put in the effort for her because I want to see her happy but lately, she doesn't see it as enough. I changed my sleep schedule, I gave her my time, and I put her above my friends and even at times, my family. I just want her to be happy and healthy, but lately, I have been seeing her more annoyed and upset at me.
Even though I want her to be happy, I still want my own personal time too. After deducting all the time from my work, cooking, cleaning, and errands, what's left is my personal time which is then shared with my gf. Is it wrong to say that it is unfair that I am spending more of my personal time with my gf instead of myself and that I should have the freedom to do what I want alone? Since I don't have prior experience, I am just curious about what the community thinks about this, is this how relationships are? Is there something I should know?
How intense was your first relationship? How did your first relationship change you? What did you learn / realize?
For many, the first relationship is a very intense experience, a wake up call. What is your experience? What did you get to know through it? How does it affect you today? How clueless were you during your first relationship? What did you do? Or what didn't you do? What did you wish you knew before getting into your first relationship?
I'm 18. I recently met a girl. It's a little early to call it at this moment, but it legitimately seems like something might actually develop between us. Since I don't have experience with these sorts of things, I thought I'd ask you guys here for some thoughts. How did you handle your first relationship? Any interesting stories or anecdotes are welcome! I'd like to hear about your experiences, whatever they may be. What do you wish you knew about dating before you entered your first relationship? How did your first relationship turn out? How old were you and how long did it last?
I am 14, and I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months. I had a dream we were married and I was thinking about it alot today. How did your first relationship affect your ideas and values regarding love and romance? Guys who had their first relationship in their 20s, what did you find surprising, and what skills/knowledge did it take a while to learn? How did your first serious relationship end and how did you handle it? At what age should you have your first relationship? When was yours and how long did it last? Going into my first relationship. Why am I terrified?
I'm a 19 year old girl in college and I've started dating someone for the first time. Things are pretty casual right now and going well, but for some reason, I'm absolutely terrified of going forward.
People who’s first relationship was a very long term relationship, what did you think was normal that turned out to be unusual once you started seeing other people? I've never been much of a risk-taker in my life (in fact, I'm always cautious as hell, usually to a fault). I don't really know what I'm afraid of. I just have this nagging fear in the back of my mind that keeps me from wanting to take the relationship further. Is this just something everyone learns to get over in their first relationship? I don't really know what to think of all this. I was 16, she was a really sweet girl. She had to be less experienced than even I was. We dated VERY seriously for 2 years. In the end, she was too deferential an passive for me to really respect her, and I was such an absent minded boyfriend. I think that drove her away. She ended up breaking up with me a few months into college. No hard feelings at all, I was bitter at the time but I think it was mainly a bruised ego. It was a totally healthy as far teenage relationships go, but looking at it with a lot of distance, I idealized her into something she wasn't and looked down on her when she couldn't live up to.
It's a long and convoluted story. There's me, my then-girlfriend (we'll call her Sally), her friend (we'll call her Susan), my friend (we'll call him Bill) and his friend (we'll call him Bob). Susan and Sally are 2500 miles away from me, Bill and Bob. So, Bill and Bob have been close friends for a long time. I meet Bill in 9th grade, I was 13 at the time. Years earlier, Bob had met Susan on omegle, and they had become Facebook friends (back when you could have legitimate conversation on omegle, I guess). Bill and I started working on a pretty big art project, and were recruiting some other people for it, so Bill asks Bob and Bob asks Susan, and I come into contact with Sally. tl;dr: Everything changed when the fire nation attacked
We were both 15 or so I think (started at the beginning of the summer after my freshman year of high school), and I think she was an ISTP. We actually lasted 9 months or so, but the last 2 were basically us barely talking but me not knowing enough to realize I should either do something about it or break up with her, and finally she broke up with me. Fast forward to my senior year, I'm best friends with the guy (INTJ I think) who ended up dating her next (still dating her by that time), and eventually without realizing it he reveals that she was flirting with him pretty constantly and heavily for almost half the time me and her were dating (nothing physical, but spending lots of time together, her telling him she had no boyfriend and them being pretty romantic with each other). My friend didn't see any problem with that and long story short we don't talk anymore (for that and other reasons). Last I've heard of her, my old friend broke up with her because he drew the line at her cheating on him by having sex with another girl (as far as I'm aware she's straight and just did it for the drugs) in order to get coke (don't know the full details, that's all I heard).
I was 13, she was a girl in my school that somehow ended up texting with me and being the introvert and somewhat socially awkward IRL and inexperienced with girls it was a jackpot in the sense that I could communicate with her without seeming like a total idiot. We were together for a year or so, seeing her almost every day.
A few things to note about her before I begin my story: Very shy and timid, but we have gotten close to a point where she does EVERYTHING comfortably around me. Not a gold digger, we both make a good salary. Very hard and honest worker. As much as she complains about me, I know she loves me very much. Has depression and anxiety.
Since it's my first relationship, I don't have any past experience to compare it to, so I would like to know what I am doing wrong.
Lately, she has been telling me how she doesn't love me as much anymore and that she isn't sexually attracted to me, and when I asked her why she said I use to make her gifts and would always want to spend time with her and make her feel loved, but on the flip side she is always talking about wanting to get married and have kids. This was also during the height of covid so we weren't able to go out often. I don't want to leave her and even if I do, I'll feel guilty because she said I'd be wasting her "prime" away and that all her friends were getting married at this age.
Long story short, she asked me to move in with her after 2-3 months of dating because I was planning to move out of state for work and she wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. Fast forward 1 year I am still living with her because my company allows me to work from home. She however has a 7 to 8 pm job (3-4 times per week) so she has to wake up at 5am and sleep by 9pm.
I am an avid gamer so 9 pm is way too early for me but, I would always get into bed with her and cuddle her to sleep on the days she had work. Now I do enjoy cuddling with her, but I also don't want to just lay there for 30+min spooning her until she falls asleep, so about a couple of months ago, I started scrolling through my phone while cuddling her and she doesn't like that. She says she wants full attention while cuddling. She needs at least 8 hours of sleep (more around 10 when I first met her) while I only need about 6 so am I wrong to think that it is unfair to at least allow myself to scroll through my phone while cuddling her to sleep? I have been doing this consistently since day one.
I also wake up every morning with her, make her breakfast, pack her lunch, and kiss her goodbye. I have been consistent with that every workday (except for 2 maybe 3 times tops. I didn't because I was too excused). She is a very diligent worker who puts work over herself and even though I hate that idea, she's just too busy for a lunch break. I do respect her grind and I try to support her in every way possible which would include putting all my tasks aside when she comes home to spend more time with her and have dinner ready for her. Whenever I am cooking, I would keep her in mind and make her food that I'd think she would enjoy. Responsibilities: Cleaning: Since I work from home, I'd say I clean the house about 70% of the time and dish 90% of the time. I don't think she realizes how dirty the house can get and how often I clean.
For laundry, I have a washer and dryer at my parent's house so when it comes time to wash, we would go over together, and I'd do all the washing and drying. Then we bring it back and fold the clothes together (most of the time).
As far as cooking goes: We agreed that she would cook on the days she is off (usually 3-4 times per week). On the days she does have work, I would prep the meals. Recently she became unhappy about it because she wanted me to cook with her on her days off, but I thought it was unfair because we had agreed that she would cook, and I would wash the dishes. Gifting: She says I don't make her or get her gifts anymore. My excuse was that since moving in with her, there were a lot more responsibilities that I had to pick up, and even though I may have downtime during work hours, I don't want to use that time to make gifts because I put in time and effort making a gift so it can definitely break my thought process. (I have given her in total: 6 personal gifts which held meaning). Her only gift to me was a power point presentation telling me how much she loved me. Although I appreciated it very much. I didn't have the heart to ask her why half the PowerPoint was just on how handsome I am even though she knows that I don't really care about my appearance. In response, she asked for an essay about why I love her. I'd admit I gave it to her very late (months) and this was because I was writing it on and off thinking of all the reasons why I love her. When I was done, I felt like I disappointed her and she said my essay sounded like I was trying to promote her or listing her. I was disappointed because although I may not have spent hours writing, I sure spent hours thinking it through. Income: We split rent and food 50/50 she pays for internet herself and gas. We never really talked about splitting internet bills since she does make about 10k more than me. I'm also a very avid saver so I would always find the best discounts on products and groceries, so I feel like that makes up for it too. Almost all of the time I'm using her car, it is for groceries/laundry, or we go out to eat.
Our budget total for eating out and grocery is $360 per month (at least we try to keep it in that range, but it almost always goes over). Some may think this is low, but when visiting home, my grandparents would give me a lot of rice and meat to take home ( I would visit home 2-3 days per week).
What we do together: On her days off, we mostly watch shows, play video games and go grocery shopping. She doesn't like it when I play video games without her. Some nights we would get takeout (mostly sushi and tacos cause that's her favorite).
I am a very avid saver. I don't like to eat out because it is too costly, I rather cook everything at home. I don't shop very much because since I work from home there is no need to dress to impress. My gf on the other hand likes to order takeout or eat out and she doesn't like it when I don't order with her since she doesn't like eating alone (again we do split meals 50/50). We do eat out about once per month, but mostly we order takeout and eat at home. She wants to go out but whenever I ask her where she wants to go, she just shrugs. I genuinely feel that I put in the effort for her because I want to see her happy but lately, she doesn't see it as enough. I changed my sleep schedule, I gave her my time, and I put her above my friends and even at times, my family. I just want her to be happy and healthy, but lately, I have been seeing her more annoyed and upset at me.
Even though I want her to be happy, I still want my own personal time too. After deducting all the time from my work, cooking, cleaning, and errands, what's left is my personal time which is then shared with my gf. Is it wrong to say that it is unfair that I am spending more of my personal time with my gf instead of myself and that I should have the freedom to do what I want alone? Since I don't have prior experience, I am just curious about what the community thinks about this, is this how relationships are? Is there something I should know?
