How many children would you be able to put up with until you judge you've had enough and can't take it anymore?
What is the maximum number of children you would realistically consider having in your life?
Assume living conditions are ideal. How much harder is it to have multiple children?
Discussion
I am the mom of an only, by choice. I just knew, even before pregnancy, that I didn’t have what it took to have multiple children, and the thought of having an only child made me so happy.
Fast forward 4 years, I love my life and my little family. My son is my world! He was a difficult baby/toddler and is a very easy child. I never wanted to repeat the first four years of his life.
I have to wonder, how much harder is multiple children? It looks sooooo hard! Also, did anyone else plan on only having one and had more due to outside pressures?
My cousin has 4 and is a rockstar mom!!!! I just….. man….. couldn’t handle more than one. Did you change your mind about how many kids you wanted after having your first?
Family Life
My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and we just recently had our first child 5 months ago. I love my baby girl more than I thought possible... but being a mom has been so emotionally challenging! As my mother-in-law likes to say, parenting is not for the faint of heart.
Not quite the same as completely childfree, but I've got to rant about people who have more than two children to people who will understand. I've grown up in Utah, and the people I grew up with come from families of 4 to 6 kids on average, but I went to school with plenty of people with more. Most notable, I was friends with a guy who was one of fourteen.
Hanging out with him, I just don't understand how it's not considered neglect at that point. There is absolutely no way to give that many children adequate attention, especially if you're pregnant all the time. I'm quite confident that those parents were never up-to-date on their kids progress in school, mental health, or any aspect of their personal lives.
Along with that, I feel like you've got to think quite highly of yourself if you think you're values, beliefs, and parenting skills are so good that you have so many children to pass them to. There are people out there worried about messing up one kid, then there are these bozos having a dozen kids they aren't even capable of caring for. There's no way to avoid parentification of the older kids, and sadly this is encouraged in these families. Obviously this is all based on my personal experiences and being surrounded by people with too many (imho) siblings my whole life. However, it has just further ingrained my desire to stay 100% childfree. "Excessive" is relative. I'm surrounded by families of 4+, so to me it seems reasonable for someone who wants kids to limit it to two.
My husband and I wanted to start a family since we got married but we decided to wait until we were settled into stable jobs and had a nicer living space (we have lived in more than one crappy apartment). Over the years, while we were waiting for the right time to start our family, we discussed children a lot. We agreed we wanted 3 kids, maybe 4. I grew up with 3 siblings and loved always having someone to play with. We were so set on the idea of having a bigger family but now that I have had my first, I don't know that I am emotionally strong enough to go through the newborn stage 3 more times.
Has the last few years made you more reluctant to have kids? How did you know you didn't want any more children? Was it a conversation, a light bulb moment, or just a feeling? And does everyone feel like they don't want more after having their first?
if you are 'done' with having children, how did you know? So what I mean is each person who wants to reproduce should only be allowed to have 2 offsprings max, I say each person but I also mean each couple Ex: 2 people get together, they have 4 kids because each person wants 2. This is not what I mean. I state each person, not couple, because people could break up/divorce and have a new partner. Don't really know how to explain that better. We all know that the world is facing many crises (plural) most can be indirectly solved or deterred by reducing the population. Countries like China and India already have over 1 billion people each. Reducing the population ALL OVER THE WORLD is my argument, not just in overpopulated countries. The reason I said 2 max is because it takes 2 to make one, so 2 offspring will balance out the loss of the parents. I understand that people don't die as soon as they have kids (not usually anyways) and that 3 generations usually exist at once but eventually they die out. I also know that some people will choose not to have kids and some will only have 1 so that's why I'm allowing the limit to be 2, because things will balance out.
If a person/couple have more than 2 children, the 3rd newborn shall either be sterilized (to prevent exponential growth) or killed during pregnancy. No fee is accepted because a fee will never pay for the lasting effects that human and its possible offspring will have on the planet. I believe this is a fair argument, so CMV. It's not a matter of "can you afford having a kid?" it's a matter of can the planet afford having another one. For those who would argue that some people in poorer countries need to have kids to survive (they act as labor, etc) and that most of the wasting of resources is done by those in developing countries, you are right. But if you are not in a condition to raise a child, maybe you shouldn't, having kids usually just continues the cycle of poverty, more mouths to feed and others to take care of. You a lot of people keep hitting me with that "no one will accept this, it's immoral, etc." I know this sub is called change my view, which, btw can ALSO be done by suggesting alternatives. A lot of people are happy to shoot down my plan but got nothing to offer. as to how I would it: with an iron fist lol how else? Maybe government incentives might work.
I always thought I wanted 3+ children, but ever since having my LO (he is nine months) I have been feeling more and more like one is enough. My husband wants one more, and ideally soonish, but I just don't know.
Just split up with the missus because she wants kids and I don't. I was kind of open to it when we first met but the way the world has looked over the last few years I'm really not sure that I'd want to bring a child into what this world is slowly becoming. I'm not depressed or anything, I just don't think I'd feel good about doing that to a child.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you change your mind again as time went on? I am just curious if I am just feeling overwhelmed or if I have truly had a change of heart. Is 3 kids considered a lot?
I was reading a post the other day about several unfavorable comments a women got while taking her 3 young kids out... So I'm curious is 3 kids considered a lot these days? (I plan on having 4 and know that is considered a lot but thought 2 and 3 was normal) maybe the comments were because they were all close in age?
Assume living conditions are ideal. How much harder is it to have multiple children?
Discussion
I am the mom of an only, by choice. I just knew, even before pregnancy, that I didn’t have what it took to have multiple children, and the thought of having an only child made me so happy.
Fast forward 4 years, I love my life and my little family. My son is my world! He was a difficult baby/toddler and is a very easy child. I never wanted to repeat the first four years of his life.
I have to wonder, how much harder is multiple children? It looks sooooo hard! Also, did anyone else plan on only having one and had more due to outside pressures?
My cousin has 4 and is a rockstar mom!!!! I just….. man….. couldn’t handle more than one. Did you change your mind about how many kids you wanted after having your first?
Family Life
My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years and we just recently had our first child 5 months ago. I love my baby girl more than I thought possible... but being a mom has been so emotionally challenging! As my mother-in-law likes to say, parenting is not for the faint of heart.
Not quite the same as completely childfree, but I've got to rant about people who have more than two children to people who will understand. I've grown up in Utah, and the people I grew up with come from families of 4 to 6 kids on average, but I went to school with plenty of people with more. Most notable, I was friends with a guy who was one of fourteen.
Hanging out with him, I just don't understand how it's not considered neglect at that point. There is absolutely no way to give that many children adequate attention, especially if you're pregnant all the time. I'm quite confident that those parents were never up-to-date on their kids progress in school, mental health, or any aspect of their personal lives.
Along with that, I feel like you've got to think quite highly of yourself if you think you're values, beliefs, and parenting skills are so good that you have so many children to pass them to. There are people out there worried about messing up one kid, then there are these bozos having a dozen kids they aren't even capable of caring for. There's no way to avoid parentification of the older kids, and sadly this is encouraged in these families. Obviously this is all based on my personal experiences and being surrounded by people with too many (imho) siblings my whole life. However, it has just further ingrained my desire to stay 100% childfree. "Excessive" is relative. I'm surrounded by families of 4+, so to me it seems reasonable for someone who wants kids to limit it to two.
My husband and I wanted to start a family since we got married but we decided to wait until we were settled into stable jobs and had a nicer living space (we have lived in more than one crappy apartment). Over the years, while we were waiting for the right time to start our family, we discussed children a lot. We agreed we wanted 3 kids, maybe 4. I grew up with 3 siblings and loved always having someone to play with. We were so set on the idea of having a bigger family but now that I have had my first, I don't know that I am emotionally strong enough to go through the newborn stage 3 more times.
Has the last few years made you more reluctant to have kids? How did you know you didn't want any more children? Was it a conversation, a light bulb moment, or just a feeling? And does everyone feel like they don't want more after having their first?
if you are 'done' with having children, how did you know? So what I mean is each person who wants to reproduce should only be allowed to have 2 offsprings max, I say each person but I also mean each couple Ex: 2 people get together, they have 4 kids because each person wants 2. This is not what I mean. I state each person, not couple, because people could break up/divorce and have a new partner. Don't really know how to explain that better. We all know that the world is facing many crises (plural) most can be indirectly solved or deterred by reducing the population. Countries like China and India already have over 1 billion people each. Reducing the population ALL OVER THE WORLD is my argument, not just in overpopulated countries. The reason I said 2 max is because it takes 2 to make one, so 2 offspring will balance out the loss of the parents. I understand that people don't die as soon as they have kids (not usually anyways) and that 3 generations usually exist at once but eventually they die out. I also know that some people will choose not to have kids and some will only have 1 so that's why I'm allowing the limit to be 2, because things will balance out.
If a person/couple have more than 2 children, the 3rd newborn shall either be sterilized (to prevent exponential growth) or killed during pregnancy. No fee is accepted because a fee will never pay for the lasting effects that human and its possible offspring will have on the planet. I believe this is a fair argument, so CMV. It's not a matter of "can you afford having a kid?" it's a matter of can the planet afford having another one. For those who would argue that some people in poorer countries need to have kids to survive (they act as labor, etc) and that most of the wasting of resources is done by those in developing countries, you are right. But if you are not in a condition to raise a child, maybe you shouldn't, having kids usually just continues the cycle of poverty, more mouths to feed and others to take care of. You a lot of people keep hitting me with that "no one will accept this, it's immoral, etc." I know this sub is called change my view, which, btw can ALSO be done by suggesting alternatives. A lot of people are happy to shoot down my plan but got nothing to offer. as to how I would it: with an iron fist lol how else? Maybe government incentives might work.
I always thought I wanted 3+ children, but ever since having my LO (he is nine months) I have been feeling more and more like one is enough. My husband wants one more, and ideally soonish, but I just don't know.
Just split up with the missus because she wants kids and I don't. I was kind of open to it when we first met but the way the world has looked over the last few years I'm really not sure that I'd want to bring a child into what this world is slowly becoming. I'm not depressed or anything, I just don't think I'd feel good about doing that to a child.
Has anyone else experienced this? Did you change your mind again as time went on? I am just curious if I am just feeling overwhelmed or if I have truly had a change of heart. Is 3 kids considered a lot?
I was reading a post the other day about several unfavorable comments a women got while taking her 3 young kids out... So I'm curious is 3 kids considered a lot these days? (I plan on having 4 and know that is considered a lot but thought 2 and 3 was normal) maybe the comments were because they were all close in age?
