Those who live with their partners, how often do you argue and is it usually over the same things?
How often do you and your partner fight, and how intense does it get? How often do you all fight with your partner? What do you consider a big or small fight? How often do you argue with your spouse? And how often is there name-calling / yelling / hurtful things said?
My first husband (4 years dating, 8 years married) was a narcissist and very emotionally abusive. Now that I’m in a stable and loving relationship, I’m trying to navigate arguments and communication in a healthy way. I’d appreciate any input, thanks! How often do you and your partner argue (more serious disagreements), and how long does it usually take to reach a resolution? How often do couples in healthy and happy relationships argue?
My (F26) wonderful boyfriend (28) and I don't really argue that much IMO, but we have an argument every month it seems. Coincidentally, in the past 3 Fridays we've gotten in pretty nasty arguments that go on for around like 4h each... I feel really bad after them, but i don't want to live in an unhealthy relationship, nor do I want to ask friends about how often they argue with their SOs. I wanna know how often is it ok to argue. Tell me guys your experiences, is it possible to NEVER argue in a relationship? Depends how you define fight. But ones where one or both of us is genuinely upset has happened a handful of times in the five years we've dated, so once a year maybe? We don't tend to bicker either, it's not that it never happens (everyone can have a bad day after all) but on average it's probably a once a month kind of thing, it's almost always me who is grumpy when it happens, and I always apologize quickly. We're both just pretty mellow people, and not getting riled up easily is a big part of what originally made us fall in love with each other.
If what you mean by fighting is screaming, getting worked up, etc, then it’s a good time to talk to your partner about how you two can communicate better. My boyfriend and i are very open and communicative and our arguments are solved calmly and constructively in most cases. We’re human after all, and we tend to like to yell. We have a code word for when one of us gets a bit too annoyed and/or feel anger build up. “Lemonade”. We just say the word and then we talk about what made us annoyed, if our day has been bad, if we are actually angry about something else but take it out on one another.
Arguments and disagreements are good as long as you grow from them! If you know that your temper gets worse around your period, try to figure out exactly what your partner does that makes you easily irritated and how to talk about it with your so. A serious, full-blown argument usually occurs 1-2 times a month. We have small bickerings 1-2 times a week, but they are resolved within a couple hours. They usually start from a lack of communication or my overthinking because I do admit that I can be needy >< It's gotten a lot better over time, so we just try to take it day by day.
My husband and I have very minor disagreements maybe weekly. By this I mean things like he says I didn't tell him something and I'm pretty positive I did, or we're sleep deprived from our newborn and one of us gets a little too snappy about something petty. We have very open communication and those little things always resolve within minutes. We've had a real, heated argument like once a year in the 5+ years we've been together and it always ends with us both feeling awful, having a heart to heart, and making up. The most important thing to me though is that even when we're annoyed or mad, we always put our love and respect for each other first and we never insult each other, scream at each other, personally attack each other, etc. Arguing, at least to us, is when you're in disagreement and you're communicating about why you feel that way. There are times when we don't see eye-to-eye and keep going back and forth, but I think that's natural in any relationship.
Fighting is when you resort to raising your voice, cursing or insulting the other person. You're not fighting fair. You've thrown logical and communication out the window are just consumed with your emotions. I was once in a long-term relationship with a guy and we used to fight all the time. I will never go back. Give me a level-headed, mature man who can talk it out any day of the week.
My first husband (4 years dating, 8 years married) was a narcissist and very emotionally abusive. Now that I’m in a stable and loving relationship, I’m trying to navigate arguments and communication in a healthy way. I’d appreciate any input, thanks! How often do you and your partner argue (more serious disagreements), and how long does it usually take to reach a resolution? How often do couples in healthy and happy relationships argue?
My (F26) wonderful boyfriend (28) and I don't really argue that much IMO, but we have an argument every month it seems. Coincidentally, in the past 3 Fridays we've gotten in pretty nasty arguments that go on for around like 4h each... I feel really bad after them, but i don't want to live in an unhealthy relationship, nor do I want to ask friends about how often they argue with their SOs. I wanna know how often is it ok to argue. Tell me guys your experiences, is it possible to NEVER argue in a relationship? Depends how you define fight. But ones where one or both of us is genuinely upset has happened a handful of times in the five years we've dated, so once a year maybe? We don't tend to bicker either, it's not that it never happens (everyone can have a bad day after all) but on average it's probably a once a month kind of thing, it's almost always me who is grumpy when it happens, and I always apologize quickly. We're both just pretty mellow people, and not getting riled up easily is a big part of what originally made us fall in love with each other.
If what you mean by fighting is screaming, getting worked up, etc, then it’s a good time to talk to your partner about how you two can communicate better. My boyfriend and i are very open and communicative and our arguments are solved calmly and constructively in most cases. We’re human after all, and we tend to like to yell. We have a code word for when one of us gets a bit too annoyed and/or feel anger build up. “Lemonade”. We just say the word and then we talk about what made us annoyed, if our day has been bad, if we are actually angry about something else but take it out on one another.
Arguments and disagreements are good as long as you grow from them! If you know that your temper gets worse around your period, try to figure out exactly what your partner does that makes you easily irritated and how to talk about it with your so. A serious, full-blown argument usually occurs 1-2 times a month. We have small bickerings 1-2 times a week, but they are resolved within a couple hours. They usually start from a lack of communication or my overthinking because I do admit that I can be needy >< It's gotten a lot better over time, so we just try to take it day by day.
My husband and I have very minor disagreements maybe weekly. By this I mean things like he says I didn't tell him something and I'm pretty positive I did, or we're sleep deprived from our newborn and one of us gets a little too snappy about something petty. We have very open communication and those little things always resolve within minutes. We've had a real, heated argument like once a year in the 5+ years we've been together and it always ends with us both feeling awful, having a heart to heart, and making up. The most important thing to me though is that even when we're annoyed or mad, we always put our love and respect for each other first and we never insult each other, scream at each other, personally attack each other, etc. Arguing, at least to us, is when you're in disagreement and you're communicating about why you feel that way. There are times when we don't see eye-to-eye and keep going back and forth, but I think that's natural in any relationship.
Fighting is when you resort to raising your voice, cursing or insulting the other person. You're not fighting fair. You've thrown logical and communication out the window are just consumed with your emotions. I was once in a long-term relationship with a guy and we used to fight all the time. I will never go back. Give me a level-headed, mature man who can talk it out any day of the week.
