How do you know it’s time to call it quits on your relationship?
When is it time to call it quits in a relationship? I always wanted a family and children of my own but in recent years, I've come to realise I'm not so sure. The state of the world in terms of POS humans and the climate in general mean I don't want to bring anyone else into the it so adoption would probably be my preferred option. However, both me and my partner are pretty selfish - we enjoy doing things we like to do, when we want to do them and spending our money on us. We've agreed over the past couple of years that we're not ones to have kids and will live out our lives however we want, no responsibilities. BUT I can't help wondering what it would be like to have my own children (bio or adopted). I guess I've just spent my whole life dreaming if the day I become a parent, and now there's so much uncertainty. This leads to me wondering if I don't want kids because of who I'm with, or because I just genuinely don't want them. I've recently had a close friend tell me they feel my partner holds me back. My mum has also said she worries that I'm being held back (both separate occasions). My partner has ADHD and is forgetful due to it, so I admit I do "mother" them at times but I have always been a very caring person (always the one with the emergency supplies in their bag) so this could just be my nature. However, I've always dreamed of travelling the world bit by bit, and have always been driven to work hard and earn enough money to never have to worry, whilst being able to have treats whenever I want. I am on my way with the working and trying to get a decent amount of savings, but my partner shows no interest in earning money or travelling. Fair enough, it's not everyone's cup of tea and that's fine, but at what point does this become a factor that is holding me back? I guess my question really is: how do I know if it's worth sticking in a relationship, or when to call it quits? There is nothing wrong at all, just a few small things that are niggling away in my brain and I could do with outside perspective and others' experiences. I (24 F) have been in a relatively stable relationship with my boyfriend (27 M) for over three years. I moved to a different country last year for my Masters and we haven't been able to meet since. I honestly don't think it's an issue of distance, but lately I've been irritated by everything he does. Now that I recount I used to feel the exact same way before I moved away from him last year. I remember feeling like I was in a stagnant and boring relationship but it quickly faded once we became long distance. I've thought of calling it quits several times during our three years together but I've always felt I needed to work on it and be perseverant. I'm not blaming him and I think he's been a great boyfriend. But I feel so much resentment towards our relationship and I do not believe he's going to put in any effort to change things. Even if he does, it'll be for a while until we go back to the same old patterns. I love him a lot and I know he loves me too and tbh I'm really torn between what I should do because we saw each other getting married in the future. Is it really time to call it quits? When did you know to call it quits on your relationship without a concrete reason?
I am having a clash of conscience about my relationship, and I do not know what to do. I'm happy as often as I am unhappy with my SO. Right now I am more afraid because I feel indifference and ambiguity. I needed to vent to the internet's mass of strangers as much as a need to hear something similar to relate to. Married for 14yrs now. Been through ups and downs. Currently going through a rough time. Wife is sleeping in a separate room for about 3 months now.
I acknowledge that our relationship has been fading and I was somewhat oblivious to this. It didn’t help that me getting older and having some ED issues and libido not being there. Question now is we are living like roommates and I am seriously at a crossroads right now debating my next move. We have 2 sons 24 and 13. I have been thinking about just riding this out until the youngest goes to college. After that I will bounce back. I know the kids can feel the tension in the home even though we do not fight in front of them.
I am having a clash of conscience about my relationship, and I do not know what to do. I'm happy as often as I am unhappy with my SO. Right now I am more afraid because I feel indifference and ambiguity. I needed to vent to the internet's mass of strangers as much as a need to hear something similar to relate to. Married for 14yrs now. Been through ups and downs. Currently going through a rough time. Wife is sleeping in a separate room for about 3 months now.
I acknowledge that our relationship has been fading and I was somewhat oblivious to this. It didn’t help that me getting older and having some ED issues and libido not being there. Question now is we are living like roommates and I am seriously at a crossroads right now debating my next move. We have 2 sons 24 and 13. I have been thinking about just riding this out until the youngest goes to college. After that I will bounce back. I know the kids can feel the tension in the home even though we do not fight in front of them.
