What makes you not want to have kids?
What made you decide that you don't want kids? People who don’t want kids, what’s your reason and how have your significant others reacted? People who won't have kids: what made you decide against having children? People who were on the fence about having children, what was the deciding factor to have a family (or not). How do you feel about your decision now? People who don't want kids, why not? Do you ever get told you're selfish for your reasons?
I'm a 26 y/o guy and pretty certain I don't want kids. Always get told my reasons are selfish :
- Unless I'm self employed and earning a decent amount I would never have kids. Having a full job means I already don't have much free time to do my hobbies etc. I work with people who have kids and they literally have no time to do things.
- I know this sounds depressing, but I genuinely don't think life is that great. I mean it's alright, but not good enough to justify having kids. I mean being a kid is fun, but as soon as you're an adult it's pretty meh. So I'm sure they would enjoy life as a kid, I don't think it's worth it.
- I want to be flexible. Bored of my job? Find a new one. Want a change of scenery? Go travelling for a bit. Relationship not working? Move on. The only reason I can genuinely see is it does seem pretty depressing being in your 60's+ and not having kids around, but life when your 60+ seems pretty shit anyway. I know most of these are selfish, but is there anything wrong with that? Do you regret waiting to have a child?
Not a parent, but baby fever is hitting hard. We're waiting a few years until our mid-30s (me)/ late-30s (him) so that we can be more financially stable, for me to complete my master's degree, hopefully own our own home. Ideally, we would like 2-3 children. Did you wait? Do you regret it? Were you planning on waiting but didn't? Hit me with your experiences! How did you know you were ready to start a family? Hi! I’m not pregnant, and I’m not sure if this question has been asked here before...but how did you know you were ready to have your 1st child? I’ve heard some people have had baby fever for forever, and others figure it’s time to start a family so they might as well just do it. I’m not ready to start a family yet, but I want to start getting comfortable with the idea. It’s just such a large, scary concept! I know my life will never be the same again. Am I ready for that? How did you know you were ready? Do you ever seriously regret having kids? If so, why?
I'm at the age where a lot of my friends are starting to have families. Sometimes they say they wish they never had kids, and they wished they had their old lives back. I have no doubt they love their kids with everything in their heart, I'm just wondering is it something you regret reddit? If it is, what keeps you going in life? I'm not here to judge anyone, I'm just genuinely curious as a non-parent. Why is "don't have kids if you can't afford them" such a taboo idea?
I'm asking in this sub because it's not taboo here and this is a good place for constructive conversation.
People argue and complain about the shitty economy and how the rich control everything, and that they have a masters in whatever but can't even get a job at McDonalds. That's fine, I don't disagree with them. But you can do something to not make your situation worse: Don't have more kids than you can afford. Now I understand if someone falls on hard times, a spouse dies or someone loses their job. I'm not talking about these instances. I'm talking about the people who financially are in a bad place and think they are entitled to having 1 or more children. And this idea of being responsible always gets logical fallacied up the ass by anyone who can put two words together. I have no idea why. It's like any hint of personal responsibility gets thrown out the window and everyone seems to condone irresponsible child-rearing. Anytime anyone proposes this idea on forums, they are called racist or bigots by everyone else. This issue has nothing to do with race. It has to do with personal responsibility. No one stands up to defend this idea or concept. Have you ever noticed this? People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not? I’m 25 and mostly childfree. Right now, I can’t imagine ever regretting not having kids. But I’m still young so who knows how I’ll feel when I’m too old to procreate. Anyway, I always hear the old “you’ll regret not having children” but I’m wondering if people really do regret? Do you regret having kids or not having kids?
Why? Why not? Do you regret not waiting longer to have kids? Expectations today may be more relaxed but couples who do not have children are still asked by family members, complete strangers, etc. about whether or not they have them, want them, will have them, etc. I mean... I've never seen anyone here saying explicitly that they regretted having a second baby. Here and there you see someone saying that it's exhausting and maybe they would go now for a bigger age gap if only they knew, but no one actually says: well, if I knew then what I know now I would have been OAD for sure. I'm not asking whether they love the second child as much as the first, for me that's obvious that you can love both equally. Is only that I believe that sometimes people don't feel confortable to really admit that having the second child was probably a mistake as they now realize that their family dinamic would have been better with an only child. Do you ever think about this or is it just me? I'm (32F, not married) not sure how I feel about kids. I do love to take care of myself and put myself in priority. I'm one of these ppl who cannot function without 8-9 h. of sleep, loves working out, traveling, going out, spending money on good food, and my looks...
While some friends of mine do feel the absence of family and kids in their life, I don't. However, on some days it's like - I don't want to be left behind... what if I'm missing this crazy experience and unconditional love everyone is talking about? What if this "good life" will just become boring and pointless? What's then? But on the other hand - I cannot see myself not sleeping for years ... putting myself last... giving up on so many important things for me, worrying constantly emotionally and financially ... it sounds so miserable (sorry anyone who's offended but this is how I see it for myself). I guess I'm just afraid of missing any of these experiences and I'm not 100% OK with the sacrifices that come with either of these options.
Just wondered if someone was in the same situation as me and how did it end for you? What do you feel about it now? People who regret having children, what made you have them in the first place? People who were on the fence about kids but didn’t end up having any: are you content with your decision, or do you regret having not having kids? Why can’t MORE women talk openly about how they regret having kids? Why do you think when it’s vice versa and a woman says she regrets NOT having kids there’s NO controversy? I have reasoned for many years now that I do not want kids, for the multitude of reasons there are to not have kids. I am in my late 20s, and highly value freedom, travel and flexibility. While I do not hate kids, I am not particularly good with kids. I also don't have an overwhelming desire to have children. In fact, any desire to have kids I believe is confounded by societal expectation to have kids. I feel mostly pressured to start a family. While I am fairly confident I do not want kids, lately I have been looking into getting a vasectomy which has been giving me an unsettling thought that maybe one day I will regret this decision. I also have toddler nieces who I love and they are very cute. Even though I get tired of playing with them in like 30 minutes, I cant help wonder if I would want kids one day and feel unfulfilled. Specifically, I think that when you are 60+, having had kids is probably a big advantage, after investing like 30 years into them. This leads me to my question: Does anyone know older childless couples who regretted their decision to not have kids? If anyone has any data to support or go against snipping my sack that would be great. Thank you. I’m 24 and am currently of two minds about it. On one hand, raising children is so expensive. Especially these days. I also don’t know if I want the obligation and knowledge that I can never drop whatever I’m doing and go on a trip or move if I feel like it…i enjoy being free…on the other hand, I want to leave a legacy, not to mention I’m the last male with my family’s name. If I don’t have kids, the line dies with me. I don’t know. My wife (28F) and I (30m) have one son right now (4). He definitely demands a lot as all children do and his main love language that we’re seeing is quality time so he wants to be doing something with us constantly (don’t get me wrong we love this). We’ve been in the fence with a second child largely due to some complications in pregnancy and early childhood. He also is vocal that he doesn’t want a brother or sister. My wife and I both had an opposite gender sibling growing up so the concept of an only child is foreign to us but we’re really considering stopping at one child. Those of you who have one child thats maybe older, do you wish you’d had more kids? Or, if you wanted one initially but ended up having multiple kids, do you ever wish you had just had one? Can I get an honest perspective? Do you or anyone you know, regret being child-free?
DISCUSSION
Hi all, 30 (F) here and I am really struggling and stressed out, and I would really love to read some advice or opinion or just read about experiences if anyone is willing to share. I cannot decide 100% if I want a baby. But I also don't know that I want to be child-free. I think about this all the time and I can't come to a final decision. I've seen posts on this website before where many people who have kids, write on here that they regret it. However, I was curious, if anyone who decided to remain child-free, if they have regretted it and why? If so, did you do anything, such as try to become pregnant, use a surrogacy, adopt, foster, etc.?
I'm a 26 y/o guy and pretty certain I don't want kids. Always get told my reasons are selfish :
- Unless I'm self employed and earning a decent amount I would never have kids. Having a full job means I already don't have much free time to do my hobbies etc. I work with people who have kids and they literally have no time to do things.
- I know this sounds depressing, but I genuinely don't think life is that great. I mean it's alright, but not good enough to justify having kids. I mean being a kid is fun, but as soon as you're an adult it's pretty meh. So I'm sure they would enjoy life as a kid, I don't think it's worth it.
- I want to be flexible. Bored of my job? Find a new one. Want a change of scenery? Go travelling for a bit. Relationship not working? Move on. The only reason I can genuinely see is it does seem pretty depressing being in your 60's+ and not having kids around, but life when your 60+ seems pretty shit anyway. I know most of these are selfish, but is there anything wrong with that? Do you regret waiting to have a child?
Not a parent, but baby fever is hitting hard. We're waiting a few years until our mid-30s (me)/ late-30s (him) so that we can be more financially stable, for me to complete my master's degree, hopefully own our own home. Ideally, we would like 2-3 children. Did you wait? Do you regret it? Were you planning on waiting but didn't? Hit me with your experiences! How did you know you were ready to start a family? Hi! I’m not pregnant, and I’m not sure if this question has been asked here before...but how did you know you were ready to have your 1st child? I’ve heard some people have had baby fever for forever, and others figure it’s time to start a family so they might as well just do it. I’m not ready to start a family yet, but I want to start getting comfortable with the idea. It’s just such a large, scary concept! I know my life will never be the same again. Am I ready for that? How did you know you were ready? Do you ever seriously regret having kids? If so, why?
I'm at the age where a lot of my friends are starting to have families. Sometimes they say they wish they never had kids, and they wished they had their old lives back. I have no doubt they love their kids with everything in their heart, I'm just wondering is it something you regret reddit? If it is, what keeps you going in life? I'm not here to judge anyone, I'm just genuinely curious as a non-parent. Why is "don't have kids if you can't afford them" such a taboo idea?
I'm asking in this sub because it's not taboo here and this is a good place for constructive conversation.
People argue and complain about the shitty economy and how the rich control everything, and that they have a masters in whatever but can't even get a job at McDonalds. That's fine, I don't disagree with them. But you can do something to not make your situation worse: Don't have more kids than you can afford. Now I understand if someone falls on hard times, a spouse dies or someone loses their job. I'm not talking about these instances. I'm talking about the people who financially are in a bad place and think they are entitled to having 1 or more children. And this idea of being responsible always gets logical fallacied up the ass by anyone who can put two words together. I have no idea why. It's like any hint of personal responsibility gets thrown out the window and everyone seems to condone irresponsible child-rearing. Anytime anyone proposes this idea on forums, they are called racist or bigots by everyone else. This issue has nothing to do with race. It has to do with personal responsibility. No one stands up to defend this idea or concept. Have you ever noticed this? People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not? I’m 25 and mostly childfree. Right now, I can’t imagine ever regretting not having kids. But I’m still young so who knows how I’ll feel when I’m too old to procreate. Anyway, I always hear the old “you’ll regret not having children” but I’m wondering if people really do regret? Do you regret having kids or not having kids?
Why? Why not? Do you regret not waiting longer to have kids? Expectations today may be more relaxed but couples who do not have children are still asked by family members, complete strangers, etc. about whether or not they have them, want them, will have them, etc. I mean... I've never seen anyone here saying explicitly that they regretted having a second baby. Here and there you see someone saying that it's exhausting and maybe they would go now for a bigger age gap if only they knew, but no one actually says: well, if I knew then what I know now I would have been OAD for sure. I'm not asking whether they love the second child as much as the first, for me that's obvious that you can love both equally. Is only that I believe that sometimes people don't feel confortable to really admit that having the second child was probably a mistake as they now realize that their family dinamic would have been better with an only child. Do you ever think about this or is it just me? I'm (32F, not married) not sure how I feel about kids. I do love to take care of myself and put myself in priority. I'm one of these ppl who cannot function without 8-9 h. of sleep, loves working out, traveling, going out, spending money on good food, and my looks...
While some friends of mine do feel the absence of family and kids in their life, I don't. However, on some days it's like - I don't want to be left behind... what if I'm missing this crazy experience and unconditional love everyone is talking about? What if this "good life" will just become boring and pointless? What's then? But on the other hand - I cannot see myself not sleeping for years ... putting myself last... giving up on so many important things for me, worrying constantly emotionally and financially ... it sounds so miserable (sorry anyone who's offended but this is how I see it for myself). I guess I'm just afraid of missing any of these experiences and I'm not 100% OK with the sacrifices that come with either of these options.
Just wondered if someone was in the same situation as me and how did it end for you? What do you feel about it now? People who regret having children, what made you have them in the first place? People who were on the fence about kids but didn’t end up having any: are you content with your decision, or do you regret having not having kids? Why can’t MORE women talk openly about how they regret having kids? Why do you think when it’s vice versa and a woman says she regrets NOT having kids there’s NO controversy? I have reasoned for many years now that I do not want kids, for the multitude of reasons there are to not have kids. I am in my late 20s, and highly value freedom, travel and flexibility. While I do not hate kids, I am not particularly good with kids. I also don't have an overwhelming desire to have children. In fact, any desire to have kids I believe is confounded by societal expectation to have kids. I feel mostly pressured to start a family. While I am fairly confident I do not want kids, lately I have been looking into getting a vasectomy which has been giving me an unsettling thought that maybe one day I will regret this decision. I also have toddler nieces who I love and they are very cute. Even though I get tired of playing with them in like 30 minutes, I cant help wonder if I would want kids one day and feel unfulfilled. Specifically, I think that when you are 60+, having had kids is probably a big advantage, after investing like 30 years into them. This leads me to my question: Does anyone know older childless couples who regretted their decision to not have kids? If anyone has any data to support or go against snipping my sack that would be great. Thank you. I’m 24 and am currently of two minds about it. On one hand, raising children is so expensive. Especially these days. I also don’t know if I want the obligation and knowledge that I can never drop whatever I’m doing and go on a trip or move if I feel like it…i enjoy being free…on the other hand, I want to leave a legacy, not to mention I’m the last male with my family’s name. If I don’t have kids, the line dies with me. I don’t know. My wife (28F) and I (30m) have one son right now (4). He definitely demands a lot as all children do and his main love language that we’re seeing is quality time so he wants to be doing something with us constantly (don’t get me wrong we love this). We’ve been in the fence with a second child largely due to some complications in pregnancy and early childhood. He also is vocal that he doesn’t want a brother or sister. My wife and I both had an opposite gender sibling growing up so the concept of an only child is foreign to us but we’re really considering stopping at one child. Those of you who have one child thats maybe older, do you wish you’d had more kids? Or, if you wanted one initially but ended up having multiple kids, do you ever wish you had just had one? Can I get an honest perspective? Do you or anyone you know, regret being child-free?
DISCUSSION
Hi all, 30 (F) here and I am really struggling and stressed out, and I would really love to read some advice or opinion or just read about experiences if anyone is willing to share. I cannot decide 100% if I want a baby. But I also don't know that I want to be child-free. I think about this all the time and I can't come to a final decision. I've seen posts on this website before where many people who have kids, write on here that they regret it. However, I was curious, if anyone who decided to remain child-free, if they have regretted it and why? If so, did you do anything, such as try to become pregnant, use a surrogacy, adopt, foster, etc.?
