MarriageLife

So last night my wife starting beating me with a rubber hose because I was eating her flowers again. I asked her to stop but she wouldnt and now I have red marks all over my face and body. Im going to have to wear face paint tonight on my street corner. I wish she wouldnt pimp me out, but the hydromorphone is getting expensive, even the Chinese import knock off stuff.
I mean I know I love her and we are meant to be and everything, but why does she have to do me like that?

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RedBaron · M

The better question is why are you eating flowers? Are you a dog, a weirdo, or just a troll?

Grendale · 36-40, M

@RedBaron they are really high in potassium and taste like heaven.

SatanBurger · 36-40, F

@RedBaron If it's a dog typing this, then the wife should get arrested for animal abuse.

RedBaron · M

@SatanBurger Look at the profile. He obviously is a troll.

Grendale · 36-40, M

@SatanBurger but if it's a human is it okay?

Grendale · 36-40, M

@RedBaron Im a human being. I cant talk to anyone in the real world about my problems so I come here. I dont care if you believe me or not. It's the truth.

RedBaron · M

@Grendale I didn't say you weren't a human being, I said you're a troll, which is obvious from your profile and post. Being human and being a troll are not mutually exclusive things; it is possible to be both. But hey, if you want to eat flowers in the real world, go ahead, knock yourself out.

Grendale · 36-40, M

@RedBaron A troll is a fictional monster character. Trolls are not human beings. It is impossible to be both a human being and a fictional monster.

RedBaron · M

@Grendale Defensive, aren't we? I must have struck a nerve. The truth hurts, eh Mr. Internet Troll?

Grendale · 36-40, M

@RedBaron Okay, you are an internet Goblin.

RedBaron · M

@Grendale I'm not the one who created a new profile and immediately posted weird sh*t about eating flowers and getting beaten with a hose. The evidence of you being a troll is there in plain sight.

Grendale · 36-40, M

@RedBaron this inst a new profile. My first post was in 2019 over a year ago.

RedBaron · M

@Grendale And you've posted about wearing diapers too. It's so obvious, it's not funny.

Grendale · 36-40, M

@RedBaron I am this person. I dont care if you dont think Im being truthful. Not every single person fits into your narrative of life experiences.

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@RedBaron Maybe he just fancies daisies.

Grendale · 36-40, M

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays I dont eat daises. Sunflowers are nice though.

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@Grendale Try roses. But avoid the thorns.

Grendale · 36-40, M

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays I have roses too. I grow A LOT of plants and sometimes mycelium. Never ate them. Some people make tea from the petals.