Best friend and bridesmaid in my wedding didn’t ask me to be hers..

Hi guys! Been best friends with my well.. Besty for a long time.. when my husband and I decided to get married there was only one person I wanted to be a bridesmaid.. her.. I had my sister also be one out of somewhat obligation.. but this girl we had talked about it for so long, and it was like I’ll be yours you’ll be mind.. during my wedding I paid for her flight to hawaii, a hotel room..all her food, drinks, dress, shoes, bridesmaid gifts... and despite her getting waaaay to drink and screaming foul things at my in laws I forgave her and let it all be and we moved on.. fast forward 3 years.. she’s getting married.. I’ve been there every inch of the way and she decides to tell me she doesn’t want bridesmaids at all.. she isn’t paying for anybody’s flight or hotel despite also letting it slip that her extremely wealthy parents are okay with whatever size wedding or venue she wants...she makes it super clear I won’t be a bridesmaid and that I need to pay for everything.. I’m just so disappointed and frankly a little surprised.. I would never say anything but it has me questioning if I even want to fork over all this money to go to her destination wedding after that.. anyone been in similar situation ? Should I just try not to take it personally ?... I’m old enough at this point to feel like life’s to short to keep people around who don’t reciprocate and just am regretful I made such a big deal to include her in m wedding after I had to literally fight my parents to have her as a bridesmaid.. I’m hurt.. any advice or similar stories? Did you get over the hurt ?