I Am Married
When I was 19, I said I would not get married until I was in my thirties.
Got married at 23. Been at it for about three years now.
We did the long-distance deal for four years. I can't really recommend it as a means of dating. For me, I needed her to be with me. To hold hands, cuddle, all that. It didn't feel natural to have a relationship with someone I would only see annually. So I made the decision to propose. Somehow, she said yes.
Getting married is a very simple process when stripped to the bone. You go to the courthouse, sign some papers, a notary signs off on them, and thats it. In less than an hour, you can get legally married. Weddings and receptions are entirely optional. Some people like to get eloped to avoid making a big deal.
So far, I can say its probably been one of the most challenging things I've gotten into. Being there for my wife is no problem. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for her. The challenge comes with my personality. Mainly because I've always looked after myself and never counted on anyone like this before. I've had to be totally transparent about myself, be relentless in being straight up with any issues that come up. I think I've opened up the most with my wife than I have with any body else in life.
We confront each others bad sides on bad days in ways you wouldn't do with any other persons. My wife has some pretty dark bouts with depression. I used to beat myself up for not being the husband who solved all his wifes problems. Now, I recognize that ones suffering is a recurring event in life that cannot be eliminated. Yet as a husband, I'm able to see that the best thing I can do is to be there for her when the sadness comes back. There's nothing worse than being in Hell and having to pretend to be ok around people.
Sometimes it can be hard to distinguish between growth and destruction when clashes arise. Marriage is kind of like taking two chemicals, unique of their own compounds, and mixing them together. You never know what the outcome will be. They might sizzle, then settle. They might explode upon contact. They might emulsify as time progresses. Some may become more acidic or basic. Anything can happen, even if two people already have a firm bond before getting married.
Got married at 23. Been at it for about three years now.
We did the long-distance deal for four years. I can't really recommend it as a means of dating. For me, I needed her to be with me. To hold hands, cuddle, all that. It didn't feel natural to have a relationship with someone I would only see annually. So I made the decision to propose. Somehow, she said yes.
Getting married is a very simple process when stripped to the bone. You go to the courthouse, sign some papers, a notary signs off on them, and thats it. In less than an hour, you can get legally married. Weddings and receptions are entirely optional. Some people like to get eloped to avoid making a big deal.
So far, I can say its probably been one of the most challenging things I've gotten into. Being there for my wife is no problem. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for her. The challenge comes with my personality. Mainly because I've always looked after myself and never counted on anyone like this before. I've had to be totally transparent about myself, be relentless in being straight up with any issues that come up. I think I've opened up the most with my wife than I have with any body else in life.
We confront each others bad sides on bad days in ways you wouldn't do with any other persons. My wife has some pretty dark bouts with depression. I used to beat myself up for not being the husband who solved all his wifes problems. Now, I recognize that ones suffering is a recurring event in life that cannot be eliminated. Yet as a husband, I'm able to see that the best thing I can do is to be there for her when the sadness comes back. There's nothing worse than being in Hell and having to pretend to be ok around people.
Sometimes it can be hard to distinguish between growth and destruction when clashes arise. Marriage is kind of like taking two chemicals, unique of their own compounds, and mixing them together. You never know what the outcome will be. They might sizzle, then settle. They might explode upon contact. They might emulsify as time progresses. Some may become more acidic or basic. Anything can happen, even if two people already have a firm bond before getting married.
