Love & Attraction > Relationships

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Why are there soo many single mothers in America, who gives these men permission to walk out when they've had enough fun with a woman?

I lived in the U.S for two years when i was 5 years and i was brought back here (africa). When i was in America i saw neighbors were so suspicious of each other. One would complain if the other's dog crossed to their porch yet sometimes they greet each other (for formality i guess). Everyone minded their own business and if you had a problem you either find an inhouse family member to help because your problems can never be shared with neighbors or extended relatives. We'll over here i can cross a stranger's compound without any suspicion. From what i see right now, single motherhood is like a lifestyle in America and people treat it like its normal. What happened? Is it the culture of self-centeredness that has made men to take women's time, have kids then divorce them after fulfilling their needs. How comes women sacrifice to give men their time and have kids with them only for the men to walk out after a couple of kids. Women feed the ego of men and afterwards the men go for better deals elsewhere. Divorces happen everywhere in the world i know but its not normal if 3 out of 5 households are single mothers. This is what happens to a society that thinks humanity is leisure. I dont understand how kids grow up wounded by the mistakes of selfish parents. FIY, i wanted to vent, don post hate messages, just give your opinion if you feel like you want to contribute. I am not married so maybe i dont understand all that happens in a marriage. But im in a capable position to see whats wrong and give my opinion

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Sharon · F

In a lot of cases, it's not the man who walks out, it's the woman who pushes him out.

1-25 of 36

SW-User

a man can walk out on the woman million times...but they walk out on the child too who is innocent. And then these immature men dare to place the blame on the womans shoulders who bore and raised his kid alone. I hate loser fuckers like them.

Sharon · F

@ThingsSheDoesntKnow: A man can walk out on the woman, just as the woman can walk out on the man. Most divorces are initiated by women.

SW-User

@Sharon: it doesn't matter but a father will never walk out on a child even after million divorces. A dick--will as soon as the woman kicked him out.

silentkev · 31-35, M

That too is possible, but its not the case with most these single mothers. For most of them i think men walked out on them maybe because they got older or maybe because the man find them "less attractive" so they go for better deals elsewhere

SW-User

@silentkev: again, we are talking about walking out on a child not on a bad deal or good deal. You don't get what I am saying still because you are probably one of them and your mind is set more on what a woman is not that you have a responsibility because you have a child regardless of what a woman did, is she bad or good deal, whether she stabbed the babyfather or set him on fire or pushed him away. The child is still there you get it? NO MATTER WHAT. Fatherless because the father left the child.

Sharon · F

@ThingsSheDoesntKnow: In a lot of cases the man doesn't have any choice. The woman can make malicious allegations against him to get a restraining order. She can just move away so he can't find her. A man has no rights over his children, only responsibilities.

SW-User

@Sharon: yeah ...feel sorry for then men. If the judge set up the restraining order then maybe there was the proof that man was abusive toward her and the child???? I believe that if a person wants to be with their kids they change their ways and do anything possible to be there. But that's hard, it's much easier to say that babymother is the ultimate monster and walk away. I only know like 2 or 3 real men that are there for the child when their babymother is a real bitch. The rest just walk out it's easier that way.

silentkev · 31-35, M

@ThingsSheDoesntKnow: Lol a dick will walk out as soon as the woman kicks him, thats veery truee!

Sharon · F

@ThingsSheDoesntKnow: I'm not denying some men are abusive, just as some women are, but a woman's allegation is often considered sufficient proof for a male judge to issue a restraining order. Female judges tend to be a bit more critical.

Judges have to err on the side of caution. It's safer for them to issue a restraining order against a good, loving father than to run the risk of allowing an abuser to continue abusing the child.

SW-User

if there was anything similar to "abuser to continue abusing the child" then there is no way it would ve happened to a "a good loving father". Something doesn't add up here but anyway, what I am trying to say is that both are responsible for a broken relationship the man and the woman. But that's if we are talking about their relationship. A man becomes a father automatically when his child is born not whether his babymother is nice to him or not. If his child is fatherless that's his fault because he made that choice but is using an excuse--- bad woman. Same thing with the woman. She becomes a mother
when her child is born not whether the babyfather is loving man or abusive. If she leaves the child that's her fault. If a man is not mature enough to claim and accept the full responsibility for his actions in regards to his child then he is not ready and should wear a condom. I am done here. Have a nice day.

Sharon · F

It only takes a malicious woman to make an allegation for a good, loving father to be labelled an abuser. No supporting evidence is necessary.

SW-User

@Sharon: then they should fire that judge

silentkev · 31-35, M

@ThingsSheDoesntKnow: Lol that is true, they should wear condoms if they are planning to quit after having the pleasure. But sadly most do not know that sex brings forth a child. So they do condomless sex allover and when they are told they are babydaddies they think its rocket science,

SW-User

most do not know at the age of 6...nowadays a 10 year old knows it. They probably know that they can dump it on the babymomma and keep on fckng around. Well, that's what defines a man to be mature or not that's all

SW-User

oh you mean in Africa they don't know? I doubt that too. The mentality of African men and women is different from American. I saw a documentary where African women said their husbands beat and slap them every day for no reason and unfortunately they accept it and a normal behavior. But it doesn't matter where the man comes from Africa, Europe or America. women in Africa maybe don't have any choices if the husband wants 10 kids she will have them.

silentkev · 31-35, M

@ThingsSheDoesntKnow: Yes, i african villages there are people who still hold on strong traditional beliefs. In such cases the women endure lots of suffering. They can bear as many kids as the husband wants and the husband can choose to have as many as 5 wives and each is expected to be obedient. I must confess that i have been viewing this as stupid too because i always feel they should walk out of such relationships. Some reason that they will remain husbandless which they do not want. In urban cities though the case is different they are more aware of their rights and these cases are not so common, single mothers are also present i do not dispute it

SW-User

@silentkev: well if they wife beaters got arrested and locked up for that they would think twice next time they want to raise their hand.

silentkev · 31-35, M

@ThingsSheDoesntKnow: Yes wife beaters are as good as dead, they think women owe them their lives. If you look at their lives they have achieved nothing and so they think beating women is good for their ego. They're losers

Sharon · F

@silentkev: All the impartial academic studies of domestic violence in the US and UK have found that female on male violence is at least as prevalent as male on female. I believe the same applies to the rest of Europe os North America. I'm not sure if it applies to the rest of the world but theee's no reason to think it doesn't.

silentkev · 31-35, M

@Sharon: Oh yes there are women beating up men as well. I have seen that too. But see the law is always partial when judging such cases. If i woman is beaten then it is gender violence and everyone stands with her but if its a man that has been beaten its barely a topic of discussion, infact the man is ridiculed

Sharon · F

@silentkev: Yes, the police routinely refuse to take action against violent women who beat up men. The victim can't even defend himself because the moment he tries he automatically becomes the abuser. In many cases, he's arrested and forced to leave his children with the abuser, who then turns her violence on them.

silentkev · 31-35, M

@Sharon: I must say women can be annoying too. I had an incident where i met two girls who were friends. We we at one of my friends studio.As we were talking the conversation got heated and i thought we were arguing out of fun. Only that i didnt know one of the girls had taken offence and didnt want me to talk. So i said "fine im not going to talk to you". That is when they ganged up with her friends. they started throwing abuses and insults and at this point i got angry and decided to remain silent. They went on came to my face prompting me to "talk if i got balls". Can you imagine one poked my eyes with her finger and at that point i felt i couldnt take it. I could not see anything and thats when one of my friends decided to intervene. I swear i could have reacted had my eye not been bruised

Sharon · F

@silentkev: Yes, some nasty women will do that. They'll keep on provoking a man hoping he'll react then make out they're the victim if he does.

What she did was assault and battery but, in the UK, if you had gone to the police they would have refused to take any action. They wouldn't have hesitated to arrest and charge you if you had done anything like that to her or even attempted to defend yourself.

silentkev · 31-35, M

@Sharon: Haha poor men, i think if the systems are not cross checked we will be the ones crying for gender equality and privileges 20 years from now

Sharon · F

@silentkev: It's not funny. In the UK men already are. Nearly half of all sex discrimination claims are now being made by men. There is growing pressure for men to have equal rights. Actually, it's ridiculous to think women can equal rights without men also having them.

We need to stop discriminating at let everyone, regardless of their sex, have the same [b]human[/b] rights.

1-25 of 36