I Am Unhappy In My Marriage

@couchpotato: It makes your eyes so brown. B S it is on your gown. IOW Get stuffed.

Most unhappiness comes from within. If you address what is inside yourself first you will fix what is outside yourself later.

If you give up your happiness and deny your emotions to maintain a relationship that isn't working then you can become a prisoner or a slave or both. It is Your life too and each of us only has one. Sometimes the "Blood, sweat and tears" of life can bring us closer together or send us to the depths of hell on earth. It's not easy.

@softspokenman: Why would you give up your happiness? Happiness is not an external its internal. If you aren't happy don't blame the relationship. Blame yourself. It is in your control.

Thank you for sharing.

Your welcome.

I am kind of a self taught expert. Lol

If you would like to talk about it shoot me a message.

@snowqueen: why?

@sleepyhead: He's already said that he doesn't want to do counseling.

@snowqueen: Sounds like a divorce if he doesn't want to put in the effort to fix things.

Thank you and congratulations for staying together for so long. 🙂

@krf336: The problem we in western cultures have is that we think our 'happiness' is paramount and if I just do this or change that (external) I will be happy. The fact is that happiness is an internal event and you can be happy in almost any circumstance. I read of a woman in a Nazi concentration camp who said she was happy there. She certainly didn't like the camp or her diet or the few clothes she had to wear but she was able to find happiness in her circumstance.

I am not arguing that many issues are internal, I agree with that. Address what you can change about yourself first...

But "happy", "content", "satisfied" are not the same things, so we all need to agree on a term before we can tell each other where our problems lie.

I dont think taking the stoic stance of "be happy no matter what" is very healthy either. A prisoner might convince herself she is "happy" but settling for "happiness"in that situation to me is not normal. I might accept it for what it is, but I woukd be fighting like hell to change my circumstance.

@krf336: Yeah and attitudes like yours only increase unhappiness as you discover happiness is as elusive as a zephyr but chase it fruitlessly anyways.

Why don't we leave? Are we really that codependent?

@snowqueen: I thought I was codependent. I stay for my granddaughter I'm raising but I've decided not for as long as I thought I would. You should at least try to talk about it with your husband.

She is a good golfer