Have you ever cheated on your spouse?

Define cheating. Individuals can have varying definitions; particularly between genders. I had a very open attitude towards sex but my wife did not. I honored her wishes and stopped trying to talk her into being shared (which was my interest) and never had sex with another woman while she was alive (which wasn't my objective anyway). But when the naughty chatrooms came along, I began exploring my fantasies up to and including cybersex -- but always made clear to my chat partners that it was only fantasy, would never go further, and also discussed what I was doing with my wife so I wasn't going behind her back. If she had any reservations about it, she never said anything. In fact, we wound up meeting five of my chat-friends as a couple and she actually liked four of the five.

After I lost her to cancer, I had a subsequent partner. In discussing our fantasies, I brought up the sharing her fantasy and she said one of her fantasies always had been to be in a MFM threesome but she never trusted her partners to not use it as justification to go straying. I assured her that was not my objective, and she trusted me. So we had a few MFM experiences together, but I never cheated on her.

I realize those definitions do not work for all; probably not even most. But they worked for us. To me, it is more about trust and not doing something behind your partner's back than the sex, or whatever it may be.