She was wrong and she knows it. I wouldn't let them emotionally manipulate you or your husband into apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong. They're the ones overreacting to being corrected. You're allowed to be uncomfortable with it and say "hey, please stop doing that.. it's really not ok with us.." Her over inflation of the situation is very telling.

My mom sometimes can be inappropriate, but does not mean anything by it. She is old, 95, and doesn't think there is anything wrong with that.

Kudos to your husband for doing the absolute right thing, standing up for you. That's what matters here, and you are fortunate. Let her cry all day over it, maybe she'll do some self reflection.

Sounds like they are trying to emotionally bully you into apologising for drawing boundaries. Your husband is correct to stand up for you and you should be his priority. His mother needs to learn to take accountability. Do not fall for it and do not enable her.

Sounds like it to me went through something similar my wife made one call an apology was given and accepted done deal no drama

I don’t think you’re wrong to set boundaries. Everyone owns their dignity. If others overreact, that’s their choice, not yours. You can’t control their emotions, only your response. Each person is free to speak, but also free to draw the line when speech crosses into disrespect. They'll get over it.

Yes.

She's a bigot who got called out and is pretending she isn't (a bigot) by acting as though your husband is unfair.

Often people who are most biased like to play the victim card when they are finally called to account for their nastiness. She seems to be one.

No one else has apparently gotten after her to rein her in. She needs to start thinking of the Golden Rule and realizing she has not been appointed judge over all and arbiter of all.

The more you age the more childish you get.