Upset
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Men, what would you do if you were in my husbands place?

We called my relatives home for lunch. My sister and husband were there too. After lunch we served some dessert. This dessert was given to us earlier by my husband's parents- a local delicacy from their state, when we met them after many months. They took some effort to pack it and bring it to is.
My mom is a known health freak, who avidly avoids sugar etc. So she refused to have it. As the others ate, they discussed the ingredients of the dessert- whether the flavour is banana or jackfruit ... and my mother says "No there is no fruit here. You think there is fruit here? You're all mistaken. There is only sugar here. This is cancer served on a plate."
I knew immediately that my husband would be hurt. So I told her that's not the way to speak. When we have invited you over for lunch and are serving something with love, and you say its cancer.
To make it more hurtful, this is a gift from my husband's parents.
To this her only reply is, "Come on, you knoe how I am! This is how I have always been. I will always speak up against unhealthy things."
The party dispersed soon after. I told her again she should not have said that. To which she said, she was just being how she always is.
Its made things awkward between husband and me.
I feel bad. Because my husband is hurt. I cannot justify my moms behaviour. And it paints my entire family and upbringing in a bad light.
Domking · 61-69, M
Please tell her "stop breathing immediately, because oxygen is oxidizing your body and pushing you towards death"

What an irritant of a person.
AnotherHe · 36-40, M
Hearing you saying it to your mum, if I were him, I'd be pleased and grateful.. knowing that my wife is not a bimbo lol and she stood up , hopefully for me.. because she loves me lol.. he won't be mad at your mum.. he knows how his MIL is, what matters is, he has you.. to be on his team.. great job
SarahTheHooker · 26-30, F
Families can be like that. They say the wrong things at the wrong time...or have no inner monologue....

I had an issue, years ago, with my mum. I'm a prostitute and 'came out', for want of a better term, when I'd left school. Hard to take, yes, I understand that. I have a pimp etc..

Anyways, I get with this lovely guy who knows all about my involvement in 'the life' - that's where we met - and he's 20 years older than me. My first ever boyfriend.

We'd seen each other for ages and I'd invited him to my parents for a meal. We had a lovely meal. My fella was charming etc. End of this lovely evening...and she couldn't help herself...but mum asks him "Are you our Sarah's pimp?"

He was gracious and took it all in his stride, but next time he came over I made sure mum apologised to him.

Your mum should apologise to them, although it shouldn't be your place or you should take responsibility for her actions/thoughts....but I understand that it shows you in a bad light..

Hugs..

Sarah 💋
Quimliqer · 70-79, M
What you have stated is so true. She could simply say she’s to full for dessert, but to make a spectacle in front of your husband, and the other guests was tasteless!!
WandererTony · 56-60, M
I would take it in my stride. Though yes, i would be hurt. But a husband cannot take offence so easily. A relationship is way deeper than that.

And your mon really needs to be told. Maybe when she serves something and others go cold. You cannot excuse her. You have to be stern with her. Else she will never learn. People get stubborn with age.
If I were your husband I would have said to your mother..."Good, more for me", and stuffed two more desserts in my mouth.

This advice comes from a man who wired a door knob to a light switch and electrocuted his own mother in law who refused to knock.
Wolfram · M
While I agree wholeheartedly with your mother, I gotta say, read the room. I espouse my views only when asked. Now if someone was pressuring me to eat the cancer batter then I would get confrontational as your mom did.
come2gether · 46-50, M
I'd be proud of my wife, and dismiss the MIL comments. Even more than that, I'd make a few lightly sarcastic comments to her myself. There is hypocrisy in everyone, that's what I'd target.
PinkMoon · 26-30, F
She'll never change so he's gotta tune her out permanently. Treat her like a head wound damaged the part of her brain that acts out tact and social empathy.
Londonguy23 · 51-55, M
Thats disrespectful no matter who said it. Just because someone always said things that way, doesnt make it right.
Tell her to have some consideration or don't bother coming.
JamesBugman · 56-60, T
It sounds like someone needs to educate your mom on sugar.
I would accept that I married a woman with baggage, just as ever other married man has since the beginning of time.
HotPizza71 · 51-55, M
Some people just can't keep there thoughts to themselves,and make everything about them
If have said something to the mother,just plain rude to be a guest and talk like that
I would tell my mother she's no longer invited to any future family functions.
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