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Husband unemployed for 1.5 years.. he isn’t trying to find a job

Y’all.. I am totally freaking out. My husband of 5 years, we dated for 2, 7 years total.. I’m 32 he’s 40.. he was an attorney.. with a masters degree.. extremely smart.. kind, good looking, so funny and witty... when we got married everything was amazing..we both supported each other and have had a great relationship.. we had a beautiful baby girl 4 years into our marriage. I hit my career harder than ever, I thought he was until about 6 months after our baby he started calling in a lot and had all kinds of excuses why he couldn’t go to work, in his mind though “out of the blue” he got fired from his job of 9 years.. we had 70k in savings, he went through this huge depression and by 7 months in he told me the week before our mortgage was due he had spent it all and had $800 left.. I was devastated.. I thought he was saving and at that point I demanded to see his bills.. at all went to stupid stuff like paying his loans, going out to eat. He’s had a huge alcohol problem and I’ve paid for counseling which he called the guy a quack.. and blew off the rest of the sessions I paid for... things looked like they were turning around when he finally got a job...only to get fired 6 weeks into it because he wasn’t enough of a quarterback... now. Here we are... again.. I’m supporting us.. paying for everything..he’s now going to start Uber driving.. he also just broke the news to me he needs to file for bankruptcy...he’s also been on 6 interviews and has done terribly in all of them.. I think he’s now been blackballed from the industry.. he has no fight left in him.. the only thing he enjoys is being with our baby girl.. and I’m starting to feel really taken advantage of.. busting my tail to keep my business going. I work a lot...His dad also has done this to his mom, doesn’t work she’s 68 and pays for everything and work 60 hours a week.. I don’t want to be like this.. he’s still the love of my life but I’m at a breaking point.. he doesn’t seem to care about anything in the world of have any ambition to pick himself back up.. I’m finding my resent-fullness come out a lot.. I’m so unhappy and it’s gone on too long.. I can’t bare to leave him because I just feel like if he could show a glimpse of ambition it would change everything.. he’s perfect other than that.. and a few minor flaws.. but we all have those. What do I do? I’m so beside myself
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Ryanoliver2011 · 26-30, M
Leave his sorry ass
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
Do you really mean that or are you sort of joking ? Lol@Ryanoliver2011
Ryanoliver2011 · 26-30, M
@Brassm0nk3y I’m the last person to encourage divorce as personally I feel marriage should be a lifelong deal BUT having an alcoholic in my family and seeing how it devestated them (she’s 60 years old n living with her parents) not to mention the massive toll it had on the rest of the family tens of thousands of dollars in rehab (not to mention bail) only for her to relapse several times...
unfortunately sometimes people are just a lost cause.
You can’t help someone that doesn’t really want to get better. It just won’t work.
There’s so much more I could get into but the comments section isn’t the place for that lol.
My point is it sounds like he may well be too far gone especially since it doesn’t sound like he’s even trying or wants to for that matter. You shouldn’t let him drag you down too is my point. Unfortunately that’s the best honest advice I can give you
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
Hey that’s a really good explanation. Wow. Fair and good points.. I’m really still hanging onto hope just because it’s a sort of new thing.. he wasn’t always like this..but if it continues I may have no choice but to think he’s turned into this sort of person and can’t go back.. I hope that’s not the case.. thanks for telling that story.. it’s true and a bit of an eye opener. @Ryanoliver2011
Ryanoliver2011 · 26-30, M
@Brassm0nk3y keep in mind that outcome was with my aunt trying to stay sober like making a conscious effort to stay sober like she actually wanted to stay sober so badly but she just couldn’t do it. She was doing good, she had her own place and a decent job but then she relapsed (multiple times) and from there stuff just spiraled and long story short she had to move in with her parents... and keep in mind she really really wanted to stay sober. She really tried. Bless her heart...
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Ryanoliver2011 · 26-30, M
@RippinKlouds thanks man. Yea I’m not saying it’s impossible to stay sober but it’s just the person has to want it for themselves otherwise it just won’t work