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Husband unemployed for 1.5 years.. he isn’t trying to find a job

Y’all.. I am totally freaking out. My husband of 5 years, we dated for 2, 7 years total.. I’m 32 he’s 40.. he was an attorney.. with a masters degree.. extremely smart.. kind, good looking, so funny and witty... when we got married everything was amazing..we both supported each other and have had a great relationship.. we had a beautiful baby girl 4 years into our marriage. I hit my career harder than ever, I thought he was until about 6 months after our baby he started calling in a lot and had all kinds of excuses why he couldn’t go to work, in his mind though “out of the blue” he got fired from his job of 9 years.. we had 70k in savings, he went through this huge depression and by 7 months in he told me the week before our mortgage was due he had spent it all and had $800 left.. I was devastated.. I thought he was saving and at that point I demanded to see his bills.. at all went to stupid stuff like paying his loans, going out to eat. He’s had a huge alcohol problem and I’ve paid for counseling which he called the guy a quack.. and blew off the rest of the sessions I paid for... things looked like they were turning around when he finally got a job...only to get fired 6 weeks into it because he wasn’t enough of a quarterback... now. Here we are... again.. I’m supporting us.. paying for everything..he’s now going to start Uber driving.. he also just broke the news to me he needs to file for bankruptcy...he’s also been on 6 interviews and has done terribly in all of them.. I think he’s now been blackballed from the industry.. he has no fight left in him.. the only thing he enjoys is being with our baby girl.. and I’m starting to feel really taken advantage of.. busting my tail to keep my business going. I work a lot...His dad also has done this to his mom, doesn’t work she’s 68 and pays for everything and work 60 hours a week.. I don’t want to be like this.. he’s still the love of my life but I’m at a breaking point.. he doesn’t seem to care about anything in the world of have any ambition to pick himself back up.. I’m finding my resent-fullness come out a lot.. I’m so unhappy and it’s gone on too long.. I can’t bare to leave him because I just feel like if he could show a glimpse of ambition it would change everything.. he’s perfect other than that.. and a few minor flaws.. but we all have those. What do I do? I’m so beside myself
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ButterRobot · 51-55, M
What does he say about it ? Does he take ownership ?
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
He’s been saying for a year and a half he just is in a funk and doesn’t know what to do.. so sort of.. says he’ll go to counseling but never does.. doesn’t have the money.. he’s very unemotional and uncaring about it though.. just a is what it is, I don’t know what to tell you type attitude @ButterRobot
ButterRobot · 51-55, M
He kinda sounds like he’s been burned out ?@Brassm0nk3y
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
Definitely.. but how long does that go on? Forever?@ButterRobot
ButterRobot · 51-55, M
It depends on him, it did happen to me and I think it took me a year to start caring again, however I was employed for that time. @Brassm0nk3y
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
Good to know ! Glad to hear you eventually felt like you got it back. That’s awesome and encouraging @ButterRobot
CoffeeFirst · 56-60, F
@Brassm0nk3y If he is depressed, he may need counseling or meds. My husband needed them. He still isn't working but it will be okay.
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
Oh wow. Good to know, yeah we tried meds.. eventually stopped.. we should go back on them again. Thanks for bringing that up. Best of luck to you guys too, nice to know I’m not alone @CoffeeFirst